| A
female
,
*lizae
writes: I really like this boy in a grade above me and I flirt and laugh at his jokes but I really want him to ask me out or ask me to be his girlfriend. If he isn't ready for that I just want to be noticed. I have a boyfriend but I am thinking of breaking up with him. I think the only reason I went with him in the first place was I thought no other boy would like meI am so confused.
View related questions:
flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2006): So you're dating for the sake of dating?? Since dating and love is so messed up nowadays, yeah, you know what? Break up with your current 'boyfriend' and go for the new guy. [sigh]
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (22 February 2006):
 You're not being very fair to your current boyfriend, are you? Think about how you'd feel if the situations were reversed: "Oh, I don't care about Elizae very much. I'm thinking I should break up with her. I'm only with her now because I didn't think any other girl would be interested. But I'm flirting openly with someone else now and I haven't really thought about how she feels about it..."
I think that'd hurt you if he said that, to you or to anyone else, and what you're doing right now has got to be hurting him.
You surely wouldn't be so selfish that you'd just continue being horribly insensitive to your boyfriend until he's so crushed he just slinks away, feeling like pond scum... would you?
So your very first step is to take a deep breath and end it with your current boyfriend, if you really want to go out with the New Guy. Accept that the downside of dating is that you have to break up with people sometimes.
When you're free to date someone else, THEN you can fling yourself at the new guy. Not before.
Have you considered that the new guy might be interested, but is unwilling to make a move because he knows you're with someone? It could be part of what's going on.
You sound really young but you can't go wrong (and you'll ultimately feel much less confused) if you imagine what the other people around you would feel in this situation. Think about your actions and how they appear to your boyfriend and to the new guy.
That brings up one final point: if the New Guy sees that you have a boyfriend and that you treat him carelessly as soon as you're attracted to someone else, then the New Guy may just be thinking "Maybe I don't want to get involved with her. Not if she'd dump me as quick as she dumped her old boyfriend".
Something to think about.
...............................
|
