A
female
age
36-40,
*unt for peace
writes:Hi. I am a 24 year old girl. I fell in love with a guy named Anubhav when I was in high school. Neither could I tell him nor was I able to forget him. After high school I lost all his contacts and never found him. 3 years later I went for a relationship with another guy named Amit and I had sex with him thinking I would be able to forget my 1st love but no help. 1 yr later I left the relationship and moved on. I was just not able to get Anubhav out of my mind.After a year...I met up with one of my childhood friends DEV. We talked a lot and gradually I felt pretty close to him. We fell in love. Everything was good and we used to get intimate...had healthy and amazing bed experiences. I was damn happy with life. Suddenly last year September I got a call from a number and found it to be Anubhav. He told me that he has a girlfriend and he is an engineer now. I was speechless at his voice. He used to call me and we started to talk. One day I told him how I used to feel about him but now I have a boyfriend and I am happy. I couldn’t believe my ears when he said he felt the same way, that he also loved me but he couldn’t tell me and by the passing years he also moved on. We used to share some "life should move on" stuff and all. This year February he called and said he’s coming to my city and I'll have to meet him. I was shocked, surprised, happy, sad and confused, all at the same time. I didn’t tell my boyfriend about this.Anubhav came and we talked a lot…had fun in the streets…all moments just like my high school days. He asked me to drink with him. I agreed. After then we came to my flat and he said he wanted to get close to me. I tried to make him understand that we are doing the wrong thing, but he said we are each other’s first love and we are doing justice to our love. I got along with him and kissed and some other things, but I couldn’t keep my boyfriend out of my mind and stopped everything. We went out of my flat and I asked him to go. He called me that night and said he will not be able to forget me and all. I don’t know why, but I asked him to go out of my life and never come back. I am with my boyfriend and I am happy but I feel guilty inside. I can’t tell my boyfriend about Anubhav's visit as it would be devastating for him. I remember in the beginning it took so much time for him to digest when I told him about my sex with my previous boyfriend Amit. He didn’t talk to me for weeks. He understood just because it was my past. If I tell him about Anubhav's will...he will die. I love DEV and I can’t think of anyone else now. He is the one who made me forget Anubhav completely. I can’t lose DEV... I feel so guilty and I don’t know what to do. Please someone judge me and tell whether I’m wrong or right.
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crush, fell in love, has a girlfriend, move on Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (11 March 2011):
Again. I can't tell you what to do.
But if you can't with the guilt you have only one option left. Telling him about the kiss and cross your fingers.
A
female
reader, hunt for peace +, writes (10 March 2011):
hunt for peace is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni dunno whether u r right... cudnt get the "revenge" word. i m not afraid of losing him..i fear he wud do sumthng to himself. he trusts me hopelessly. i truly love him and i dont think abt anyone else now. not evn anubhav. i can firmly say evn while kissin, i ws nt happy and ws thinkin abt DEV, not anubhav. should i tell my boyfriend all wat happened? should i leave him? i kno m not the fittest for him... but i love him... the guilt is burnin me inside. but at the same tym i dun wanna tell him. i just wanna forget my past and live wid DEV wid all i have... will this be right?
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A
male
reader, Capri2 +, writes (9 March 2011):
"I didn’t tell my boyfriend about this." Because you knew what was going to happen, in the end.
Well. You messed things up because you wanted to take revenge on life. But now you know that's not possible. You can't have both your boyfriend and you past crush at the same time.
If your boyfriend had a hard time with you not being a virgin, telling him what you did will ruin your relationship. But, will you be able to stay with him thinking what you've done and not telling him? Of course it's not fair for your boyfriend being cheated and not knowing about it. I guess he deserves better than that.
In the end I can tell you did wrong. But you already know it. And I can't tell you what to do. That's something you are to choose, because you will have to live with it. Both options are pretty hard to cope with.
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