A
male
,
*ary6557
writes: I am a 49 yr old male, three failed marriages behind me, 1 my fault the others not. i have recently met the women of my life and not of my dreams, looks fade personality is forever. She does not know about my first two marriages and I am really torn as to if i should tell her. I want to be completely honest but she is very spiritual and even though she has been divorced and lived in sin with a child out of wedlock, I am not convinced that the relationship would survive with my admission, help. PS: she worships the ground that i walk on, she is awesome.
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female
reader, Nay920 +, writes (23 August 2006):
I think you should let her know that you have been married before she how reacts to it then tell her how many time because this woman could be the one for you and you dont need to hold info life that from her maybe its best if you tell her. Good Luck
A
female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (22 August 2006):
If this woman means as much to you as you say she does then be honest with her. You dont want a relationship based on lies and deceit. Honesty is the best policy. Tell this ladie exactly what you told us that she is the woman of your life and that she is awsome. Hopefully she will understand that people always have a chance and that people can change. I hope she does understand as you sound like a sweet person. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anon2907 +, writes (22 August 2006):
Hey Gary,
I wasn't sure about your statement, 'woman of my life, not of my dreams'. Something about it made me feel unsure about where you were coming from exactly..... but then you said she was awesome, so I guess you like her??
But anyway.... If she worships the ground you walk on then hearing you be honest isn't likely to be an issue with her. If I were you'd I'd avoid talking about blame in the previous marriages, focus on what you learnt from each one rather than whose fault it was.
At some point she'd find out about the other marriages if she ever talks to your parents or friends or colleagues, so it'd be a million times better to have told her in advance. As a woman I'd be upset and angry if I found out that the person I loved had withheld stuff from me - good or bad.
Give her the chance to accept the honest you - it can only be a good thing.
Good luck,
Anon2907
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