A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've had real problems with self-esteem and subsequently booze for quite a few years. I have forced myself on a downward spiral and i seem to dwell on my problems more and more. It all began when i was 20 and booze enabled me to be 'popular' (at the time i didn't realise i was playing the clown for peoples amusement not for their friendship) but i used to get paraletic to the point of not remembering and then be an idiot. This one occassion, on my bday, i was force fed 3 pints of mixed spirits and i ended up stripping in public (without trying to be too graphic as it sickens me to do so) i posed on a car bonnett and went into a food shop fully undressed. Evryone had their camera phones at the ready and snapped away. I barely remembered the incident the next day but with the proof being sent to every phone in town i couldn't avoid it. I asked people not to but they wouldn't. 5 years on and they still go around- every new person i meet gets shown it at somepoint and i get the reaction i deserve - disgust and all respect gone. I think of it every day- what if my parents see it etc (people threaten to show them and make t-shirts etc.) I wouldn't mind so much but....lets just say the photos aren't flattering as i'm not too attractive down there. I've just started hanging around with a girl that i really like but i don't want to introduce her to my 'friends' as they will pounce on the opportunity to show her and she's quite shy and proper.but i know she'll find out at some point. I'm scarred she'll run a mile if she sees what i did. It's a part of my life and although i think i am generally depressed anyway- this incident plays a huge part! i've tried laughing it off and i know it's my own fault and i'm a complte idiot for doing it- but it's the place i was at the time, people are horrible and i hate booze because of it, even though i still drink! I'm generally considered a nice, easy going fairly serious guy especially by this girl and i hate the fact that this 1 stupid 5 minutes has had such a huge horrific impact on my life! Do you think this girl will hate me for it and run? if you met a guy where the same situation had happened what would you think?I wish i could stop thinking about it. If it was anything but embarrassment and shame i could cope- but knowing it's all my own doing....
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): Sorry babes, but if I met a guy who had been in your situation I would be dying to see the pictures and I would be insensitive enough to laugh my head off. It would remind me that we are all human, we do stupid things, we like to laugh and play around. I wouldn't think less of you, I would think that when you were younger you were wild and liked to have fun and now are older, more considerate and ready to settle down. I know your ashamed of yourself, but people are not reacting with disgust or rejecting you. They actually admire you and your bravery for having the courage to make a complete fool of yourself. What a story to remember when you old age and disability slows you down. Don't regret the past, it's made you the man you are today.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): Enjoy the memories we are only young once and when you are old you will not cringe you will laugh, at how light life can be instead of dull and serious. Rejoice!!!!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2008): If she's likely to find out about it anyway, you probably need to sit her down and just tell her about it before others with less tact do. You're not the first, or the last, person to get drunk and excercise bad judgement. She already likes you and thinks you're a serious guy. Your current demeanor already suggests that you aren't that person anymore. With a little luck and understanding, maybe she won't hold that against you. I think you believe this is a bigger deal than it really is. Good luck!
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