A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:porn is so visual and kinky, the fact that its not you in the act makes it so much more kinky and orgasmic, its weird, the kinkier the better to orgasm to....i find it easier to masturbate to porn (watching men strip, women strip, gay porn.) I stopped watching porn b/c i was addicted to it, watching men on men, women on women, whatever kinky worked....i CAN orgasm to sex but it takes a lot longer and i have to really focus on something 'kinky' on my partner (like his nipples, or i once imagined him naked holding his dog....it was kinky and it worked) i hate that i have to think so kinky to orgasm, im afraid im going to run out of kinky things to think about :( idk what to do! I just want a simple moan or a simple thing to make me orgasm but things seem so 'normal' that it desensitizes the eroticness of sex, the fact that it becomes rythmic and normal makes it less exciting. I just need kinkiness and i hate that, i dont wana rely on porn :( i want to orgasm from the heart if that makes any sense.
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female
reader, rockwell +, writes (30 April 2010):
I know someone that was the same way. It was because they watched so much porn and they were desensitized. Kinda like when you watch gore and graphic videos and eventually its no big deal to see it. What you need to do is give the porn a break and make it kinky between the both of you. Use sex toys, whip cream, lubes, role play, tie him up. Whatever but don't use the porn. Make it kinky without the porn. Then you'll start to get turned on by the thoughts of being kinky and dirty. And don't do the stuff you see on video. Come up with your own kinky ideas and make them your fantasy. Hell maybe even make a porn video together and watch that! ;)
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Honestly, that's not that "kinky." It sounds like pretty soft porn to me. Also, are you sure you were addicted? Like was it interfering with your daily life and you found yourself making excuses about it? What you are describing doesn't sound like a porn addict to me, it sounds like a woman who needs to fantasize in order to orgasm and a woman who enjoys porn. Most people need to fantasize and most people can orgasm more quickly if they watch porn. This is kind of bad gender stereotype. In order to justify their absolute "need" to watch porn and check out tons of women, guys insist they are more visual than woman and that women are more into romance. Guess what. It's not true. Women love visual stimuli too. There was a study done where they exposed men and women to different kinds of porn and the women got just as aroused as the men. Also it's perfectly normal to take longer to orgasm with a partner. Most people are this way. It's not your hands doing exactly what you know will feel good in sex. I know that most people want an orgasm and sex to be a beautiful romantic thing, but few orgasms come "from the heart." An orgasm comes from two places. One, your clitoris, and two, your brain. Just enjoy the fact that you can orgasm during sex and stop worrying!
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A
female
reader, princessofGod43 +, writes (30 April 2010):
 I don't want to insult you...but did something happen to you as a child or did you stumble upon porn or someone having sex when you were a child...this seems a little out of the norm..to need this as you say...if your partner doesn't stimulate you...i guess you need to think of scenes in your head about what you've seen previously...but it sounds as if you need to seek counsel because something has triggered this is my quess..Sorry if this sounds cruel...believe me i am not putting you down on purpose....and by no means should you watch this with your mate because they could discover without you saying that they don't turn you on naturally. God Bless
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Have you tried to just block all thought, let go, and fully immerse yourself in simply feeling?
I know we are all diff, ..but that is kinda where my head is at during sex, ... all passion, all emotion, all feeling, and I aint thinking jack - that is intelligible anyway lol.
Dunno- just an approach to maybe ponder coz I think perhaps trying too hard, or expecting too much, is just too much thinking going on to be really just abandoning yourself to the moment and getting the most out of it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010): What your saying does make sence, but the matter is your body works differently. I recently just started to watch porn and had my first orgasm. I have sex with my partner and it is amazing, but I cant reach that point not because I dont love them but because my body re acts differently. Thinking kinky things isnt wrong, maybe discuss this with your partner and maybe bring in some new things to your sex life.
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