A
female
age
30-35,
* wanna love u like mad
writes:i need help. i think i hate my sister! she always gets me so angry and encourages me to do the wrong things. she dropped out of college, shes failed half of her GCSE's and i know shes on the pill and has a fake ID. shes recenly got cuaght in topshop for stealing necklaces and i feel like shes trying to tear me down with her. the rest of my brothers and sisters know shes a failure and that shes a bad example. and she always gives her firends my new expensive clothes which come back all torn up after a few months. shes older than me of corse and shes stronger so i cant stand up to her because she blackmails me into things. shes called me fat before and said i have a wierd nose just to get my self esteem down. shes a size 6 and has nice features but she throws it in my face to make me feel bad. i dont no what to do!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2009): I know how you feel! Older sisters can be soo intimidating.
Look on the bright side, she's a faliure. Wouldn't it be worse if she was perfect at everything and everyone liked her? I honsetly think she's jealous. So what, maybe even if you are the tiniest bit chubby, just exersise and eat healthy. Make sure you study for all your tests. Maybe if you do everything you do with all your effort, your sister won't have anything to blackmail you with. Also, dont' share you secrects with her, and become seceretive with her. If she really pushes your buttons look her right in the eye and say," I'm through with you. You don't control me, and neither do your trashy friends." Then, walk away. You might also tell your parents that your sister is ruining your self esteem. She can do whatever she wants to herself, but it's just wrong and unfair when she takes her anger out on you. Lastley you can say, " I hope youre getting a kick out of ruining my life, because when you need my help desperatly some day, you're not going to get it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): i totally understand where your coming from. I was in a similar family situation. My step sister was a total failure- she failed most of her subjects in school, smoked, did drugs, stayed out late, and finally got herself preggers when she was 16. After she gave birth to her little boy and her on and off boyfriend left her, she started to act like a total b***h to me. She would steal stuff from me, she began spreading rumours about me, she would sabotage me, and she also encouraged me to do the wrong thing ie: skip school, smoke etc. I realise now that my step sister was probably jealous of me- Of the freedom i had (i wasn't tied down to a baby), i was still in school, i had my whole future ahead of me. But she didn't. And she tried to bring me down. I think your sister is doing the same thing to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): I've been in this situation before. I am very pleased with the outcome in how I handled my bullying sister whom stole from, lied to, and slandered and insulted me.
Assuming you all live together, you certainly do have an enfuriating problem!!! Of course you are angry toward one who uses and abuses you; it really hurts! There are ways of dealing with it.
If you don't live together, you're in a great position because you can live as if she does not exist; ignore her entirely. This communicates you have no tolerance for her abuse.
In living in the same home, I recommend setting up YOUR rules to protect yourself and see to your happiness.
Put a keyed lock on your bedroom door, or on your closet so all items for safekeeping are held behind the locked door. It seemed when I did that most of the intrusion and "borrowing" problems of my space ceased. It's great because you just get out of school or off work and roll in the house, whip out your key and let yourself in your space.
As far as her put-downs, this is intolerable. Demonstrate your intolerance with contempt: give her no attention, allow her no room, time, or response to her verbal and emotional abuse. When you respond in any way to it, you feed it, so set up a rule to give no heed to her unkindness, even at the expense of awkwardness, discomfort, and losing potential friendship.
Let's face it, you don't have anything to lose by setting up your boundaries and deciding who gets to step over the line into your space. She's not your friend right now, so you've really got nothing to lose.
Hang in there, this will pass.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (28 April 2009):
 she is obviously crying out for help or crying out for someone to talk too
she's a size 6!!!
she may just need to talk about problems thats probably why she is doing all these things its a cry for help and she is probably attention seeking.
she's probabvly only trying to put you down because she is jealous of the way you look probably because to her you look better than herself!
but she just needs help.
perhaps get her to see a doctor or talk to her?
hope this helps
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A
female
reader, lovinlife91  +, writes (28 April 2009):
 ok...she may be older than you, but that doesnt mean you can stand up to her! stand up for yourself girl! who cares if she is a size 6?! your beautiful inside & out! dont let her get to you & break you down! & as far as the new clothes go i would stand up 4 that as well & tell her not to do that. they're your clothes..no one elses!
tell her how you feel!
goodluck!
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (28 April 2009):
 "the rest of my brothers and sisters know shes a failure"
Most people can tell when someone else has faith in them ... or when they don't.
They can sense if your belief is genuine or phony. And truly having faith in someone can change his or her life.
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