A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:hey i really need some help and advice..im 13 years old and i apsalutly h8 my dad!!my mum is desabled and for instance my mum fell out of her wheel chair when i was younger.. and my dad was drunk on the sofa. so my mum had to crawl her way to her bed and finaly he got off his lazy bum to pic her up and slam her on her bed! she had carpit stains all over her hands and knees!!my dad used to slap me and he is 1 of the biggest control freeks ever and makes u feel guilty all the time!!i have to see him every weekend and i jst cant take it anymore! the arguments the lies.. EVERYTHING!!! i am really close to my mum nd tell her everythingPLEASE HELP ME!!!
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male
reader, LucasL.  +, writes (24 April 2009):
my dad also hits me a lot. i am also 13 and i am severely depressed and also i am scared everytime he gets a little mad since i know something bad is going to happen. in my case i have no one to count on since my mom doesnt care. i live with him and all i want to do is get as far away from him as posible. i have a 10 year old sister whom i love a lot and i fear that this will happen to her someday so i need desperate help. i tryed a psycologist but my dad wouldn´t take the help. i also need help! i cant get away since i have nowhere to go. please help me!
A
female
reader, raven2311 +, writes (2 December 2008):
You poor kid. Been through it all myself. I grew up in an environment that would be considered cruel for a pet, never mind a child. My Father was an alcoholic, he was a bully, and a child beater. He beat me daily for 16 years. It started when I was 18 months old, when he threw me against a wall. We are not just talking a slap here, I was thrown down flights of stairs and kicked and punched once I reached the bottom. I have been dragged through our home by the hair, and had my head smashed through a glass dining table. So boy do I know what it's like to deal with abusive parents. No-one (unless they have suffered the same abuse) knows what it's like to live in constant fear, just waiting and listening for their footsteps as you know it's about to happen again.I suffer from mental illness now, along with other mental ill health such as sever depression. So am I bitter? Your right I am. Do I hate my father? Too right I do. Dr john, with all due respect, do you have any idea what it's like to live this way? Her father has an illness? WTF, he is an alcoholic, I am so sick of weak minded men who can't face life so hit the bottle and blame the booze for their actions. It seems you mean well Dr John, but alcoholism is self inflicted. He only has himself to blame.Listen kid, get him out your life. I wish I did, while I was still able.
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A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (14 September 2008):
 I'm sorry, I forgot to add the link for you.
Here it is.
http://www.heros.org.uk/home_sub.asp?page=1
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (14 September 2008):
Don't hate your dad but hate what he has become.
He is suffering from a disease which is among the toughest to cure, alcoholism.
There could be many reasons your dad started drinking in the first place.
You don't give any indication of what has happened in the past or why your mother is in the wheelchair, when your dad started drinking etc.
He may have started drinking because he could not cope with the pressures he has had to deal with because of your mother or other reasons.
It is common for people to resort to drinking when there are things too painful to deal with because alcohol inhibits emotions like pain and depression.
Anyway, I think you will need help if you are going to be able to make any changes in your family situation especially at your age.
Not to say you are not a responsible young lady because the very fact that you are looking and asking for help tells me that you are having to grow up way before your time.
I have done some looking online for some resources for you.
You don't give any indication of where you are so I tried to get you some general help numbers. Look in the listing and try to pick one that is closest to what you need help with and call them. Even if it is not what you need specifically, if you explain your situation to them they should be able to help you further even if it is to give you an exact number to call to get help.
There should be an organization that will be able to give you help, not only with your dad, but even perhaps to make sure your mother has better care.
If you need further help please feel free to drop me a personal note if you like and I will see if I may find more resources for you or whatever.
Just don't give up. Doc
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A
male
reader, Chippymunk  +, writes (14 September 2008):
 Hi there. I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel. My parents were extremely abusive towards me while I was your age. I'm asian, and my parents did things the traditional way and always resorted to violence to solve things since their parents did the same to them. I was told I was worthless daily and was hit often, even for the littlest of things. For example, If I didn't finish my dinner, my mom would force the food up my nose. I even still have scars on my face from when my mom cut up my face because I didn't listen to her... They did this only to me because my little brother was their favorite and they needed someone to unleash their stress on =(
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (13 September 2008):
 I completely understand. Is it possible to take a break from seeing your dad for a while? Who organises it? Would he go mad? He needs to know that he needs to change how he behaves in front you. Talk to your mum about it first, and see what she thinks.
Just remember, you are the normal one - you are just trying to survive in a difficult situation, and I am sure you're doing really well. It's just that when someone keeps telling you it's your fault, you start to believe them - well, don't. He's the adult here, and he isn't behaving like one. He's behaving worse than a child would (children are nice!!). But then again, I know, he's your dad. Try to forgive him, but make a stand - say you don't want to see him unless he can behave better. Good luck and keep smiling.
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