| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi. I'm feeling anxious, sad, insecure and jealous for no good reason.I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 23. He's been my first boyfriend and we've been together for 2 years and 3 months. In the beginning everything was perfect as we are very, very, very, very much alike. We share almost the same tastes, humour, values, political views, etc, etc. He's the jealous type though and he can't really deal all that well with the fact that before him I made out with some strangers at parties. He thinks I had no self respect. To be honest, back then all I wanted was to feel wanted and liked for a while. So yeah, maybe I didn't have self respect. Back when I was in high school I was always teased about how ugly I was and guys my age never liked me. So I had to go for a bit older ones.Other than that, he always talks about marriage and that kind of stuff. The other day we were hanging out with one of his childhood friends and my boyfriend told him I was the best woman he could've ever met, that he was a fool sometimes for getting angry at me over some things. He was a bit drunk, though.However, with all this talk about my past of course his past has come up. Well he had the biggest crush on this girl throughout high school and they were close friends. Before they left for college, they hooked up, but they couldn't have a relationship because she moved away for college. Here start the comparisons:1) She got admitted in a top school and got a major in Psychology. I'm still studying to become a teacher (THE most underrated profession in my country, it's said only dumb people become teachers but I love it)in a poor university because I couldn't afford to move away. My boyfriend is getting his major in Psychology soon.2) She loves sports. She is a huge fan of the same football team as my boyfriend. I happen to like that team also, mostly because everyone in my family does, too. However she understands a lot about football, etc. I don't. I have to tell him to explain to me while we're watching the games. I like it, it's fun, but I feel dumb. Football is a big hobby of his.3) She is around his age, maybe a bit older. When we first began dating he said I was the first girlfriend he had who was younger than him; that he generally liked older girls because they were more mature. Back then this didn't upset me, also because he didn't say it in a hurtful way. But now it does, since she's probably more mature and nicer (less insecure for a start).4) Finally, she is G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S. She was chosen the prettiest girl of their class, also the one with the best body (he volunteered this info when he first told me about her). Remember how I was teased about being ugly? There, she's superior. I once saw a picture of her in facebook and told him she was prettier and he said "Oh, but, umm... she's shorter than you!". But he didn't say that I was prettier. I felt like "You're taller, but she still has a better face and body".Other than this, why am I so worried? Well, even though they lost contact a long time ago, he still has her number in his cell. Also because she's kind of the girl he lost over unfortunate circumstances, not because they had a nasty break up, so he probably has idolized her a lot. She also contacted his brother on facebook and asked about my boyfriend. Finally, because she is planning on returning here next year... they both are Psychology majors so they'll probably run into each other a lot (since it's a small town) and I'll still be a lousy Pedagogy student... I feel if she came back she'd be a threat for all the reasons I listed aboive and also because she wasn't easy in her past, she had self respect, etc...What can I do? I hate her, and I hate that my boyfriend has such a great image of her, yet he thinks that in my past I had no self respect and stuff. That she's better than me in everything, from career to looks.
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crush, drunk, facebook, her past, his ex, insecure, jealous, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008): you seem pretty aware of your insecurities... dont let them rule you. You have been together so long you have nothing to worry about and if you did have anything to worry about then clearly he's not worth it.
the best thing for you to do is stop looking at her as a threat and be as friendly to her as you possibly could be! she isnt some1 you should hate! and if you cant come to like her if your boyfriend even senses how jealous you are it will make you look bad not her!
the past is the past you're the one making it the present, so when she comes back think about who she is today and who you are... his girlfriend! so shes probably jealous of u!!
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