A
male
age
41-50,
*asherB
writes:Hi all, I've been in a relationship with my partner (also male) for the past 5 years. He's done a lot for me, i.e been very supportive of my new career, moved to a new part of the country to be with me etc.When we first moved in together he was out of work and remained so for about 18 months. During this time I basically paid for everything, rent, food and all the bills, plus gifts etc. I found him a job, which he stuck at for about 18 months. He's now oput of work again and has been for some time, so, you guessed it, muggins here is paying for everything again.I'm trying to stay calm and controlled but I'm really getting fed up with hearing the same excuses time and time again as why he can't take this job or that and then demanding that I buy this or that immediately...I love him to bits but really hate feeling like his sugar son!Help!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (29 March 2011):
 Hi,
I hear your frustration & its only fair to feel this way. Many people go through the "no having a job process", but its hard when you don't see the person trying hard..
I don't want to be rude, but this is your fault! You spoil him, let him get away for so long & now he's used to be the "princess" in the house, because he knows you love him & will always do things for him.
I understand your actions, you love & care about him. You want to make him happy..
This is a different scenerio, but when I was young, my parents gave me a car, paid & gave me everything I want, I didn't work until my late 20's & it was very hard for me in the beginning because I was so used to having everything handed to me. I didn't know the value of money. Basically, what I am trying to say is that sometimes too much love & protection is not good..
Have a serious talk to him, nicely explain to him that you need his help, that you need a partner in life to share everything, including bills.. Tell him, you need him to be strong for you, so both of you can make a happy, safe life together..
He'll understand if you talk nicely!
Good luck!
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