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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been seeing a man for the past couple of months and I know that I am falling in love with him and yet I have absolutely no idea what he wants or feels. I have been understanding, caring, not clingy as he leads a very demanding life and yet when I ask him, what he wants from "me" or "us" he simply returns the question and says "i thought we were taking things slow".He is very affectionate with me when i am around him and he has introduced me to some of his close friends but I see him maybe once a week and barely hear from him inbetween these times - where do I go from here?Are most men of this age (28) like this? Or am I just being strung along? I have a tendancy to end up in relationships where i end up giving more than received and am trying to put a positive stop to it! HELP! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (20 May 2008):
 I think it would be wise to date other men and put this one on the back burner. Also, if you are having sex with him, stop as he is supposed to be taking it slow and that means the intimate parts too.
good luck!
xo
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): I am dating a 27 year old and I am dealing with the same exact thing. We have been dating since early December and we both want to take things slow which is cool and all, but he can go a day or two without calling me? I don't understand why?!?! Like is he trying to TEST ME? or is he testing himself, to see if he actually misses me that much? Grrr...I hate dating. Him being distant like that, is because he is probably just being cautious of his own feelings and awareness. Perhaps he wants to make sure that he isn't getting into any drama?!!? Smile. Don't make someone a priority, that makes you an option. To hell with that!!! :o)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2006): its hard to reply to that one...how is his life so demanding? I would try to initiate a little more contact with one another - find out what he does get up to while he isn't with you - Do you know where he lives or anything? Arrange to go over there for dinner or something a few nites a week...sit him down and get the answers you want - point blank - say how you feel and what you would like out of this whole relationship you are in with him! I haven't found all 28 yr olds to be like that unless they have been in previous long / deep relationships where they are now a little afraid of committment (or always have been), or they are cheating on whoever they are really with - i'd be careful thats not what your playing part in. Sounds like a definete possibilty that he is just stringing you along though...why? is the question i think you really need answered. Its a bit hard to tell really this early in a relationship but i thought usually they cant get enough of you and it wasnt till later that they started slowing down the whole seeing each other thing...every one is different though i suppose! Just seems a little strange, is his life really that busy or is he hiding something? You already sound like your giving more than your receiving ie; your putting more energy into thinking about the future of this relationship!! Say how u feel and what u want - leave the ball in his court...if he doesn't want to play then get rid of him!! make sure you remember that what u want really does count towards your happiness...its hard not to fall into that trap of being the only real reason the relationship works (giving more than receiving) good on ya for trying to nip that one in the bud...hard habit to break...stick by your guns wont u?...especially when it comes to this one!! good luck with it! let us know how it goes! take care!
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