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I had unprotected sex with a friend and now I am worried

Tagged as: Friends, Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 January 2019) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 January 2019)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I had unprotected sex with a friend . I don’t know what I was thinking but I’m so worried now. I thought he had a condom but I got carried away when he said he doesn’t .

I had to ask him after a couple of days and he said he doesn’t have any sti but someone who would go for unprotected sex would have history so I got tested after a couple of weeks and came clean.

I’m still very worried cause google says some diseases show up after months or years . Have I ruined my life? I’m so worried and regretting the stupidest mistake of my life. How bad is it? I know i should’ve been very careful. I cant believe I made such a stupid mistake despite being a responsible adult. I am hating myself for this.

View related questions: condom, unprotected sex

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (3 January 2019):

chigirl agony auntHiv takes about two week to a month to show on test. And thats about it. All else can be tested for within this time, and if you are clean, then you are clean. Doesnt mean he does not have any sti’s, just that he did not pass any on to you. You did not ruin your life, but I think your carelessness scares you. Learn from this lesson and dont be reckless again. Youre fine!

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (3 January 2019):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntNever have sex without protection. You could be pregnant, even on birth control ,so check for that too. Also, you need to carry your own condoms because then you know it hasn't been tampered with.

Steps:

1) Pregnancy tests x 3

2) STD testing again in 3 - 6 months

3) Learn from it and don't do it again, then move on from it

Focus on making sure the pregnancy and future STD re-testing come back negative, then move on with your life knowing you'll make a better decision next time.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (3 January 2019):

Honeypie agony auntWell, the likelihood of you getting a STI/STD that shows up months/years later.. it's there but what is done is done. If you want to be ULTRA sure, do another STD/STI panel in 3-6 months.

What you CAN DO is learn from this.

1. CARRY condoms yourself. YOU CAN NOT rely or expect the guy to always carry them around for YOUR protection.

2. SLOW your roll when it comes to sex. I know it's hard to think straight when you are about to have sex, but the ONLY one who can control what goes on, IS YOU. Also, YOU are responsible for YOU.

3. STOP beating yourself up. You know it was a bad move and a stupid thing to do. Enough. JUST don't DO IT again. Beating yourself up will do nothing to help you. We have ALL made mistakes in life. This was a mistake. SHIT happens.

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