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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi People,I am a 13 year old male who is almost 14. Recently (for about 2 months) I have been going out with this 16 year old girl. At first all we did was kiss, make-out and foreplay etc, but last night my parents were both at hen/stag nights and both stayed at a hotel. My parents trust me and my girlfirend so they let us stay home alone for a night, they even give me and my g/f £15 to rent a movie and get some popcorn etc. As the night went on we started kissing and went upstairs, before I knew it we were both naked and I was very hard. We had a bit of oral before going into full sex. This was my first time but 2-3rd time for my g/f. After just 10 minutes penetration I ejaculated but at my age only a tablespoons worth ever comes out. I wasn't wearing a condom. My gf said that I wouldn't need one at my age. Now I'm worried that she might be pregnant. Is it likely at my age? Also I feel I have betrayed my parents, broken their trust! Should I tell them, both of us sit down and explain to them how we feel about each other? I do not regret having sex but wish I had taken a few precautions before doing so. I am so happy that my parents don't mind the age gap of 2.75 years. I asked a friend who knows about UK law and he tells me that my gf can't really be prosecuted for rape or sexual assault as she is female and that even is she is prosecuted the case would collapse without me giving evidence? Is this true? What should I do now? Pregnancy? Tell My parents? I really love my gf, who loves me as well and have just had the best Christmas ever! We sit and talk a lot and even once she mentioned something about getting married when I turn 16 lol. I know that you will all think that im in fairyland, but unless you can feel what i feel when I'm around her you really won't know! And just to make it absolutly clear she didn't force me to do anything I didn't want to and actually for the first few days when I asked her out, she refused. I had to beg on my knees but I'm so glad I did lol. We both feel we are now emotionally mature (not fully maybe). Also would you please note that I am not your normal 13 year old, in fact I'm the kinda too brainy one who's normally telling the teacher what she is getting wrong. Both of us are straight A students, Oh and yes we are both in this relationship for the long term.Thanks for reading. Have you any suggestions at all please do post them.Worried Guy, Tom
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2006): got have sex agian
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2006): Yes as you have asked about the climaxing i have the same problem and i wish it never happened xD
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2006): oi can u guys tell me how to get a girl, when only 13 and short
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A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (4 January 2006):
 i wish i read this sooner as i think by now it must be too late for the morning after pill, but i will say it anyway as it looks like you are going to get yourself into trouble again,
the morning after pill is in no way an abortion....how it works is to stop the egg attaching itself to the lining of the womb making it imossible for a pregancy to occur, and im sure if you dissagree with abortions then this would be the best option because if your girlfriend did get pregnant then the question of an actual abortion would be out of your hands and your girfriend needs all the support you can give her especially regarding things that are equally your responsibility!
also you may feel that you are worldly and wise at 13 but all 13 years olds feel that way , that is untill they becaome older and have the knowledge of hindsight! No 13 year old is mature enough to be in a sexual relationship and most definatly not to be having a baby!
as for the legal side of things , your parents could prosecute the girl for "indecent assault" this is because even when i child feels ready for sex, it is considered they are not mature enough to understand the consequences of their actions, this law is there for your own protection and for future reference your girlfriend would be considered breacking the law and it would be possible for her to be prosecuted against if she were to engage in penetrative sex, oral sex, and masterbating with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2005): tom,after being so concerned about your girlfriend being pregnant, why are you telling us that next time you have sex (new years eve), you are going to try the "pull-out" method, even though you admitted that you knew it isn't safe???!!! that just boggles my mind! you were so concerned and woried sounding that she could be pregnant, and then you buy condoms (good), and say that if they don't arrive in time you're going to go without them. in my opinion, you are way too immature to be having sex, and obviously are to young to understand the implications of it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2005): I have a friend who got his girlfriend pregnant when they were both 13 and let me tell you it has been a struggle for him. He is now 30. He and his g/f stayed together for about 4 years before they realized they were really different people and wanted different things out of life. So, luckily they are still good friends for their son's sake. He was poor forever, as he had to put any schooling on hold to try and support his family. He finally graduated college at age 27, but it was a major struggle. Plus, he couldn't really enjoy his college years as every weekend he would drive home to be with his son. Now he is older and trying to date and some women his age are just not ready to play step-mom to a 16 year old. Now, if you asked him, I'm sure he would say he loves his son and wouldn't trade him, however, I bet he would also say that he wish his son would have been born much later. Time would have allowed for my friend to enjoy his youth and enabled him to better provide for his son. So, moral of the story, if she is pregnant, I'll bet you can make it work, but in the future, its not really worth the risk. You, your girlfriend, and your potential offspring all deserve better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2005): yes, your gf could be pregnant. maybe you should ask her to take a pregnancy test to make sure (although they are not always 100% accurate).
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2005): Hi, Bev, Rebecca,Thanks for the advice, i disagree about 2 things thought,1) My Parents:- i dont think that they were being bad parents surely she wont expect her 13 year old son to be having sex at all, she still see's me as her little boy, i dont she see's me as a teenage boy who has his fanascies!2) My Girlfriend:- i understand where your coming from and maybe i should take your advice because your older but why would she go out with me for 2 months before having sex i know she wasnt cheating because we are attatched at the hip!Anyway we had a talk she asked me to come down town with her and buy the morning after pill but i objected although i made a mistake and dont actually want children i still disagree with what is essentially an abortion , a termination of the pregnancy, its totally wrong, the child could be the primeminister or maybe a docter anyway who am i to say.We are now going to do a Pregnancy Test later on in the month!I am not going to tell my parents if she doesnt get pregnant because they would go over the top and ban me from going within 455 miles of a female species.IF she is pregnant I WILL stand by her and the child hopefully we could make the best of it!I have bought a pack of condoms from the internet using a debit card they come in a plain jiffy bag and my parents wont know what they are.Also how did she manipulate me?? I understand but i am quite capable of saying NO, just over 13 years in this world teaches you a lot. No one seems to have addressed the legal situation in the uk does anyone know what could ahppen because i dont want my parents getting her into trouble.Maybe just maybe she is the one and seeing that they are alrite at the moment why would my parents object i think they know im sexually maturing she doesnt have any probelems with me having porn under my bed, Next time i see her will be new years eve hopefully my pakage will have arrived if not it looks like the pull out method (I know its not safe).Also does anyone know how to cum more and last longer b4 climaxingThanks Tom
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (29 December 2005):
 Hi Tom,
Rebecca's advice is excellent in every way. I agree completely. I'm adding my comments as well.
Your girlfriend especially should have known better than this. She's the one running the risk of a pregnancy and girls generally are more emotionally mature than boys. Given that she's two years older, she should be taking a lot more responsibility than she is.
She took your virginity with forethought (You're 13, you were left alone with your girlfriend, you got each other undressed and started kissing... of *course* you were going to get an erection! Some kind of sex was positively inevitable. A 16-yo would know that, especially if she's already sexually active.), so you would think that she would have considered that you should have had contraception.
Because of the way that she manipulated you (and she did), I detect a faint whiff, in her actions, of her actually wanting to become pregnant for some reason. Whether that's because she feels she wants a baby as a badge of maturity, or because she thinks it will make her 'grown up' and give her a ticket to the adult world, I of course can't tell. But the same suspiscion makes me think your girlfriend will baulk at the idea of going to the doctor for the morning-after pill. She may be hoping that she's pregnant, and you should be aware of that possibility.
Hopefully, your girlfriend isn't pregnant. Unprotected sex only results in pregnancy about 30% of the time, but you have to give some thought to what you would do if you fall into that statistical 30% of people. Abortion? Adoption? You may need to keep these possibilities in mind.
There are two things you need to do right now. If you intend to keep having sex, you need to get some condoms *before* you're tempted any further. Your girlfriend also needs a back up contraception method. Think about what you learned in Sex and Health class... Condoms aren't always 100% effective.
The second thing you need to do is to have a serious discussion with your girlfriend about what happened between you and why. Does she now believe that you're going to have sex whenever you have the chance? What are you going to do if she does get (or is) pregnant? If you're old enough to be having sex, you MUST be old enough to talk about it, right?
Make sure that your gf gets to the doctor as soon as possible, though. That's your assignment for now.
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A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (29 December 2005):
 We all make mistakes, even people much older than you have made a similiar mistake involving having sex without protection but your age, whether you are brainy or not, whether you plan to stay together are all irrelevant. You both took a huge risk and yes, she could have fallen pregnant. It doesn't matter how much you ejaculated, it doesn't matter how young you are. (Surely if you are both grade A students you would have done Human Biolgy and realised some of this??) You don't need a pint of sperm to get pregnant!
Try not to worry so much about the legalities with this. Instead, if this only took place last night, get your girlfriend to the doctors (which will be confidential) and get the morning after pill. If you don't do this, she will run the risk of being pregnant. Explain to her that she could have become pregnant last night. Of course there is a chance that she isn't pregnant. Many people try for a baby or take a silly risk and don't become pregnant. This could well be the case for you but don't take any chances.
Don't take any more chances either. If you plan to make love, wear a condom. You may think you are emotionally mature, but would you like to have a baby at your age? Are you mature enough for that?
I'm sorry to be so harsh but if you don't want an unwanted pregnancy, do something about it. Boys younger than you have been known to father a child so don't listen to any silly statements about the amount of sperm and age.
I believe your parents have been particularly irresponsible thinking that the two of you wouldn't experiment in this way so in some ways they have let you down too.
The first thing to do is make sure your girlfriend isn't pregnant and then discuss precautions for the future. Then consider informing your parents how far the relationship has gone and explain to them that you want to be responsible. They may think you are too young and may wish you to wait. This could perhaps be good advice to listen to.
Good luck.
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