A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:OP's own title: Okay, I just need feedback and thoughts on this?So here's what happened. My close girl friend told me this guy that used to be in my class was talking about me while he was drunk. Saying things like, "Oh where she at?" "She's my babygirl!" And that he was talking about me to his guy friends. So me and that guy were always just friends, we sat with eachother in class. And he'd flirt with me because he's just a FLIRT like that. I never thought anything of it, but then after my friend told me about his drunk talk about me I kinda thought to myself and realized I always did thought he was cute...Could he be interested? Cuz I might be..Then after she told me that he started texting me alot, we hung out like once with my close girlfriend cuhs that's like our only way. When we'd text, in every text he'd say flirty things but takes forever to respond. Then, we'd constantly text throughout the day for like 3-4 day span. But then I stopped replying one night because he was taking forever to respond. The day after, he did not text me nor did I text him back. Then, the NIGHT after that, he called me. He was drunk. It was 1am, he asked to hang out cuz he had nowhere to go. I was happy to hear from him, and so I let him in. He was acting cute, and kissed me. We made out, one thing lead to another. He wanted to do it, and I told him No, because I don't want you to view me as a slut or regret it in the morning when you're sober. He kept trying for an hour and eventually I gave in ...A big mistake. :( After it, He stayed and slept til morning. I felt bad and ashamed so I slept far away from him. We woke up, he said goodmorning. And then he acted like really surprised that he ended up at my house and all that. He told me "You act like we're not gonna talk anymore, we are." I didn't believe him. So he asked me to walk him downstairs so he could go home and I did. he hugged me and left. Then the whole day, no text, just like i figured. I was really starting to like him too, but I gave it up and now I feel stupid. I'm just confused on whether he was interested at all.. But at the same time, he's a player and a flirt. The close girlfriend convinced me to text him and tell him that I felt used and dirty and that I can't believe he'd try to take advantage of my vulnerability like that. I sent a really long message. I wasn't expecting a text message back..but then I guess I want a reply on his thoughts.. But it's the next day, and nothing. What do you guys think? I feel so bad. And do you think it was a bad idea to text him how i felt? Was I being too dramatic? What do you guys think he's thinking or feeling?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2010): Some people might disagree with me here. If he was drunk and you were sober, it's almost like YOU took advantage of him. It bothers me sometimes when these sort of drunken escapades happen and then girls instantly want to blame the guy for what happened. You were just as much a part of this as he was and if you didn't want to you should have stopped and not just "gave in." I honestly don't think you had the right to dump it all on him and make him feel like he did something wrong. He probably wasn't saying anything in the beginning because he was still in shock and maybe he felt a little bad about it or felt like he pressured you into something. But then sending that message probably really hurt him and made him feel even worse. He's not going to respond now, he's probably worried that he ruined all chances of actually having a decent relationship with you. My suggestion, give him a little space and then talk to him face to face and tell him that what happened might have been a mistake and you were moving a little too fast, that you are interested in having a relationship with him and not just a sexual one.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2010): You shoulldnt have let him in at one am, and yes the text was harsh, you could have waited till he talked to you
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