A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i'm a 23 years old non-virgin girl. As a teenager i used to do sex with my bf. We are still together. But from past two years we stopped to do sex. But now as a jobless he cannot marry me and my situation is not so good. So i have to marry a stranger soon. But it kills me that I'm not a virgin and i am gonna cheat my partner. People here in Bangladesh are not okay with having sex before marriage. So it will be insulting and pointless to share with that person. I don't wanna betray anyone. What should I do?N.B. I think my vagina is not that tight any more!! same goes for my boobs also. And i'm not very good with lying.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2019): I'm really sorry you're in this position. I would do whatever you need to do to be safe. Don't tell if you don't want to.
Vaginas getting loose is a myth, and sex doesn't affect your breasts either.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2019): My heart breaks for you because you live in a country where you must get married.You should stay with the man who is poor because that is who you love.Money is nice but it gets old when you are not with someone you really love.Too bad in your country you cannot be a independent woman support yourself and not have to marry just for money.If you can be independent there that is what you should do and only when you really fall in love them get married.If your family has money you can go to a doctor and get your virginity restored.They have surgery now that does that.Otherwise sneak a little bag of blood into your marriage bed and pretend it is the first time.Act like it hurts and pretend to protect yourself.Spill that blood on the bed so you look like a virgin...be sneaky do not get caught.Try to move to a country that respects women might also be a good plan because then you would not have to worry at all because then you would be equal with the men and have more rights.But I think the best thing to do is just fake it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2019): In many cultures, women are expected to maintain their virtue and pureness; yet it's men who take it from them!
To be honest with you, my dear, I don't think those who know you and your boyfriend are oblivious to the fact you were sexually-active. If you fear there may be a very negative reprisal to the discovery that you are not a virgin; I might recommend that you tell your mother.
I understand that arranged-marriages are based on the premise the bride is a virgin. Being a non-virgin might raise some very unsettling reactions from your groom and his family when it is discovered in the wedding chamber. That's not the time to reveal the truth! No telling how you'll be treated thereafter!
I recommended telling your mother; because she is a woman, and more empathetic to you as her daughter. She might be very angry and disappointed in you; but she may shield you from harsh reactions from your father and family-members who are faithful to the old customs and traditions.
Men are less forgiving, when they're the culprits behind women losing their virginity! Go figure! "I'm a guy, so I can dip my wick, but I must have a virgin for a bride! So insanely hypocritical.
Tell your mother, because revealing it on your wedding-night could be disastrous. If it is known beforehand, the groom and his family has the option to redraw the engagement-agreement. Not to dismiss the fact you could face much disapproval and criticism once the truth is known.
Maybe your betrothed is more progressive, and will not mind. It would be best to get your mother's advice; because it is your family who will face the consequences for your behavior. That no-good bum of a boyfriend you had is useless; and now look what you have to face alone. He doesn't bear all the blame, you knew what you were doing.
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