A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I have a big problem.I have been with my bf for over a year, and its been LDR. The tension has been building between us, and he was finally able to come home.We are both inexperienced, and gave each other our first kisses. It was terrible. I felt nothing, and I still dont, even though we've been together awhile. I am worried this means Im not properly attracted to him. He seems to think I am really good it, but he doesnt turn me on, except slightly when he's hugging me.Is he just a really bad kisser? Why do I dislike kissing so much? I feel overwhelmed and worried my emotions are messed up. Help?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fernando Garcia  +, writes (31 July 2011):
Maybe he is just a bad kisser. But one good thing that comes out of this is that you can show him how to become a better kisser. Tell him what you like and dislike.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 Well, thats the trouble with LDR's. You run the risk of not being physically attracted to them. In this case, sounds like you aren't all that into him. Maybe you love who he is, but the chemistry between you isn't there.
You can ignore this and keep at it and hope that in the future you will learn to like him physically as well, lost of people do. But that'd be settling with something less than what you want, wouldn't it? You want the chemistry, the fireworks and the thrill in your stomach, the sensation when your skin meets his, feeling like you want him, can't wait to be near him, want to hold him close all the time and more and more and more kisses, kisses which you will never tire from.
But that's not how it is with this guy... and I am not sure you'll ever get there either. It sounds like he bored you. If I was you... I'd find a diplomatic way to end the relationship and NOT enter a LDR again.
They have a saying that goes "If the first kiss tells you how the relationship will be". Maybe just a stupid saying, but it does hint at chemistry in a relationship being important.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2011): It's not as big a problem as you think! Most people don't feel anything remarkable the first time they kiss someone. It's all rather unfamiliar and a bit awkward, and getting used to being with a new partner always takes some time. I had my first kiss at 18 and felt exactly the same as you do, worried that the lack of sparks which I'd been expecting meant that there wasn't anything there. I didn't enjoy anything about kissing at first; it felt so mushy and uncomfortable, I'd have preferred to just cuddle! I persevered though; it took me a few months to grow accustomed to the whole thing, and now... :)
Don't worry sweetie. The more you practice, the better it becomes - for both of you. I don't know how often you guys get to see each other since you're LDR, but when you do, just relax and let it happen naturally. If you still don't feel any connection at all after a long time, perhaps there *is* a lack of chemistry between you, but I doubt that's the case somehow. I mean, you feel there's something there when he hugs you, right? Don't give up just yet! Good luck and take care x
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A
male
reader, shivo  +, writes (26 July 2011):
maybe he's a bad kisser and maybe that's because that's your first time . try kissing him again later this week if you didn't feel nothing then i guess that he don't turn you on but i advise you to focas on two things the emotional part and tha mental part before the kiss
i guess that's all
Shivovich ( that's my nickname i'm not a eastern europian)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2011): maybe he's a bad kisser that's all & maybe that's becuse that's your first kiss and you didn't do it before just try kissing him again but after sometime if it felt noting i guess that he don't turn you on but i actually advise you to focus on two things the frist on the emotional part of the relationship and the Psychological part before the kiss
that's all hope the best for u
yours all that have problems
shevontic (that's my nick name i'm not an east europian)
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A
female
reader, sweetcaroline +, writes (26 July 2011):
I know it seems really bad, but I wouldn't worry if I were you. Kissing can be tricky, and it can take time for two people to adjust to each other and learn what the other person enjoys. First kisses can be really awkward, so don't fret. Just keep trying and do your best to communicate to him what you like and what he could do to improve- in a gentle and helpful way. Hope this helps!
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