A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a girl back in h.s and she turned me down, ran into her a year ago and she turned out to be married. The connection i felt with her was intense. We ended up talking on the phone, which tured into a affair. She has 2 kids and is very unhappy in her marriage. We had a relationship for close to a year. She told her husband and completely went cold. She really does not try to talk to me or call me at all. I gave this girl my heart, she told me she loved me too. I miss her all the time, and i know she feels the same about me. When i do talk to her since the withdrawl we talk about how we were. I mean the attraction and the connection was so unreal. She was everything to me. I really know that it was not good to be with her, but i could not resist. Well what should i do from here? She is still with her husband and still not happy. I feel like crazy when i see her. I ran into her this month and she looked in my eyes, and i swear she could feel everything i felt for her. I do date other girls all the time, i just am not sure i will find one like her, and that breaks my heart. Where should i go from here? Btw we have not been together for 6 months. She did come by once and we just held eachother nothing more. Why is this not going away?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): dude, SHE IS MARRIED. leave her alone.she messed up once and she is now trying to make the best to recify her affair.
you go play with an unattached woman and please leave this MW alone.
alternatively, she must quit now. she is wasting her hbs time and her kids life. so instead of making everyone feel sorry for her, she should divorce her hb and get out of his life. for goodness sake she is the one having the affair, she is doing the wrong thing and somehow she has convinced you that her hb is to blame. wonder what her hb will say to all this????????
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): Its not going away because her being married is the only barrier. You didn't end up hating each other, or just get bored so there is still a kind of relationship there. I'm afraid to say this is a life lesson for you. Sometimes it is the circumstances only that mean you cannot be with someone. You need to cut her out your mind. When you meet someone special who is truly available you will be able to move on. Please don't wait. If she is unhappy enough with her marriage she will leave her husband, irrespective of you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 January 2010):
Fact of the matter is you were used by her to try and fox a problem with her marriage. I don't think she meant to hurt you, but clearly she loves her husband and is trying to fix the marriage, most likely for the sake of her daughters. All you can do is keep trying to move on. It will take you some time, but that's all you can do. You can't sit there waiting for her. It wont' happen.
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A
female
reader, laura585 +, writes (9 January 2010):
Leaving a marriage (especially when children are involved) is a very hard thing for a person to do. I would assume she is struggling with what she has done. She had an affair. I'm sure she felt she was betraying her family, and kids included. Some people would rather go their whole lives being miserable just so they don't hurt someone else. Unfortunately that "someone else" is her husband and children, not you. I believe it's true that she could love you, but if there is a chance for you two it would be something she would need to start. She would need to leave her husband - another affair won't help anybody and you two might soon after be where you are now. I think you're doing good - dating around. Don't stay stuck on a married woman. If she really really wants it, and you do too then it can happen, otherwise... This is why I don't believe in marriage - you may find someone and fall in love, but it doesn't necessarily mean they are the best person for you - they were just the best at the time.
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