A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Heres my story i have a daughter shes 7months after her i made the mistake and got pregnant again me and my bf decided we wernt ready for another baby so i got an abortion, but now my bf wants another baby! i dont understand i just had that abortion a couple months ago so whats so right now then it was then. i keep getting these bad feelings like im doing something wrong if i have another baby. id feel really guilty like why am i keeping this baby and not the last? im wondering if i would have that connection with the baby, would i love the baby, would i neglect the baby? i have already explained all of this to my bf but he still insist on having another baby so am i doing the wrong thing? should i be feeling like this? i just want to know what i can do or think that it would make me feel alright about having another one thanks
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male
reader, Dalmatian  +, writes (2 September 2009):
Have the baby. Put the abortion behind you. Your BF has
matured as you both have gone through this experence.
Your daughter really needs a sibling as she goes thru life.
I hope it is a boy so you can name him after your boyfriend.
This will really tie you two together.
A
female
reader, AgonyAuntBlondiee  +, writes (2 September 2009):
 The decision to take a child into this World is not one to be taken lightly. Do NOT even consider trying if YOUR heart is not in it and you still don't feel ready, whether your boyfriend wants a child or not.I also saw a documentary about a young girl who like your boyfriend after having an abortion at just 14 was desperate to try for another baby at 15/16. She was so full of guilt and regret that she aborted her previous baby.After some pretty intense counselling she realised that it was not another child she wanted deep down, but to reverse the abortion, to go back in time and have the baby she aborted back. Perhaps your partner is feeling similarly.I think you should wait and think long and hard and be SURE before you take a huge step like this.Hope this helps :)AgonyAuntBlondiee x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009): I really think you both need to think this through. It's normal to feel guilt over having an Abortion, and that guilts turns into wanting to have another baby to replace that guilt. But the truth is that even if you did get pregnant again, that baby will NEVER be the last baby you aborted. I would hate for you guys to try to get pregnant, and be successful and then your boyfriend backs out again and says, I made a mistake, we really arent ready yet!!There has to be communication here. It's not about what he wants, it's about what you want too. Do you want to have another baby? and I am going to say exactly what you said:What's so different about now, then it was a few months ago? Does he have a better job now? Is your money situation any different? What were the problems last time that all of a sudden, he has a solution for now?I don't know, but you must find out.. before you try again. Think about it.
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