A
male
age
22-25,
*ahaomglolkit
writes:So i had a crush on my science teacher but then I moved away. On the last day of school she told me to say good bye to her. Naturally I forgot but the day before I said a goodbye and gave her a hug. It's been about two weeks and i've settled into my new home. I've been texting some of my friends back in my old town and they said that she is disapointed in me because I didnt say goodbye. I was probably her favorite student out of 150 and we really liked each other. Shes 10-15 years older than me so I dont want to do anything with her but I do want to keep in touch and talk occasionaly. I really liked her and she liked me a lot too but mainly just as a student.So i found her up on facebook about an hour ago and considered friending her on sending a message. I'm not sure what to do because I still have a lot of friends in her class and it would be weird if I started talking to her on fcbk and they knew(already texted my best friend and told him about this).I really would like to keep in touch but dont know what to do. All comments welcome. Thank you for your time.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (1 December 2012):
 Don't "friend" her on facebook. That's not appropriate for someone your age. It's a different story when you get older if you add her later to let her know what you're up to, but for now, it is not appropriate.
"but mainly just as a student."
You should keep repeating the following "but ONLY as a student." I'm sure she does like you as a student, but I'm sure she also finds it a bit awkward. I have never been a teacher but I have worked at a camp and experienced several types of infatuation from campers, some sexual some as parent replacement, but it's always very obvious and always extremely awkward. It's a strange feeling because I feel a lot of compassion/empathy towards those people and at the same time feel a really strong need to distance myself as thoroughly as I can from them.
These feelings feel strong right now, but they will pass much faster than you think. You just need to cut contact and they will fade in a matter of weeks. You will get over this quickly now that you're apart. It's going to be much easier for you than for the other people who develop crushes and are stuck in the classes. This is really, really common so don't feel too embarrassed. You will find someone your own age in the future.
A
female
reader, babalou  +, writes (1 December 2012):
 You really shouldn't. It sounds to me like you're just crushing on your old teacher and I'm sure it will be a passing feeling. In many states, it is illegal to friend a student on Facebook, and even though you moved away, if someone at her work were to see you on her friends list or talking to her, that might strike people as odd. One of my high school teachers in the past was fired for dating an old student, even after she was 18 and had graduated. It only showed that he had an interest in one of his students outside of a student-teacher relationship, which is REALLY unsettling for most people.On top of that, there is nothing that tells you your teacher is interested in you on that level to begin with(And if she was, you still shouldn't pursue her; it's illegal). It would be bad to pursue her on a high level of any kind because it could ruin her view of you, AND you might also cause her to lose her job if she's not smart enough to avoid this. You're young, and there will be plenty of people you develop feelings for in the near future. Like other students.
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