A
female
age
30-35,
*upcake555
writes:I live in Germany and travelled to Sweden (I travel there every second month because my Dad lives there)3 months ago... there, I met a guy and fell in love. I have been there for 2 weeks, we were seeing each other, doing things that couples do,everyhing was great -but although we didn't have sex, i wanted to do that next time (not necesarolly -just once in nearer future, when i would come to Sweden again), because i didn't want to seem easy-I have never wanted to be just a number, so i always acted like that-he said that it's alright, that he understands me and his additude didn't change.then we saw each other 1 month after that, I came to sweden for 1 day, earlier as planned because i missed him so much-everything was great, we continued everything, did some cuddling and he wanted to go further, but i ddint want to because i wasn't able to(I was reaaaaaaaally drunk and already felt sick, so it wouldn't be a good idea to give a blowjob for example)he didn't seem offended because of that and we'll do that next time i'll come there.although he said that to me, I had a bad feeling I ruined the whole evening with this rejection.. I connected the situation with past experience when my ex dumped me beacause I didn't want to do anything more(but, ok, I was still a virgin then-that's why.In case of swedish guy, I wasn't that anymore)so i came back to sweden and he was happy to see me-then i made a horrible mistake and told him, I was worried i ruined whole evening and he asked me if I really thought he was like that (to have a bad opinion of me beacuse I didn't want anything more) and I said :sorry, I dont know you that well (that was a mistake!)
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female
reader, cupcake555 +, writes (10 April 2009):
cupcake555 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionas i cna see , not all of my story has been posted
after telling him that, he started with making a distance, which rly hurts me.he stopped with love msgs, we went out on a date 2 time in 3 weeks (ok, he was busy with school but anyways-he acts diferently-he is friendly , doesn't ignore me at all, but he avoids everything more "sexual"-touching etc, not to mention sex
i already asked him , if everyting is alright and he said that it is...and im leaving in 2 days and we probably will see each other again, but i don't think it is a good idea to ask him why the distance, because he alredy showed me, he does not want ot talk about it.
so, what do you think-how am i supposed to act the next time I'll see him?like nothing happened and just try to have fun as much as I can?and then wait for the next "holidays" in sweden? i do want to go futrther with him, not necessarily sex, but i don't liek that we slowed down everything...I do not rly feel to suggest him to do anything more , i do not want to seem despreate
dunno, I just do not want to loose him
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): Wow - you lucky girl to have a date like that; most women are pressured by their dates to put out.
I think you're worrying too much. If you can say what is on your mind and be understood and accepted anyway, you have a blessing. So if he's really cool, he'll just pass off that comment, and also accept any explanation you have for it.
Are you worried you made yourself look promiscuous with that last comment?
Why don't you email him and explain you feel awkward and why, then just let it go. If he's a great friend, he'll take you as you are.
By the way, I would really give up worrying about sexually rejecting anyone. Seriously, just put it out of your mind. Be proud to refrain from casual or random sexual involvement; it's something to be proud of!
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