A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My partner is not interested in sex. We have been together 4 years. At first things were Ok but got worse and worse.I tried to pep things up and got some sexy, tasteful underwear, but he told me I looked like a prostitute. We have had sex about 3 times in the past two years and that was a disaster. I know he cares for me but is just not interested in sex. We have asked the Dr and he prescribed viagra but that did not help as he is not interested. What do I do. I feel he cannot be bothered and gets annoyed with me when I mention it. He then reiterates that I am sex mad and I say how can I be sex mad when I have gone without for years! We are planning to get married as I felt this would make him feel more secure, although he is 62 and I am 56, but it is him who keeps saying we should split up whenever I mention sex. I feel that he is not bothered as long as I don't mention it he is happy but I am not. What should I do? I am at my wits end. We have had a lot of problems with his much younger previous girlfriend and my drinking but that is now in the past. I feel that unless I sort this out I may as well return to drinking to blunt the pain I feel although it is over a year since I touched a drop. Help!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007): I've got to agree with most of the other answers and say, "Why do you want to marry him?" No sex in years? Him saying that you look like a prostitute? Sorry, but I don't think that you can be happy with this situation. Goodness, my wife and I are both over 60 and we sometimes have sex 6 or 8 times a week. Normally 3 or 4 times. I love to buy her sexy lingerie and sweaters to wear at home and out. I want her to look sexy for me. You need intamacy and he is not willing to give it to you. Maybe it is a medical problem, but that doesn't explain his comment about you looking like a prostitute. Sorry that I cannot give a happy answer, but I doubt that this will work. It sounds like he wants to split up since he mentions it. Give him what he wants.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): do not bother with such a disrespecting prude. the fact that you are questioning his behaviour yourself is a sign that you know yourself that it would be a mistake. you'd be ebtter off getting rid of him, I bet he disrespects you in other ways aswell.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (17 December 2007):
 Why do you want to marry a man who does not comply with you intimitely? He probably thinks that when you reach a certain age sex is no longer an issue, he should realise that you are a woman who still has sexual needs as well as emotional ones too. I think you should break up with this guy and find a man who wants meets with your needs and let this old grandad potter around with his pipe and slippers lol. Seriously though marrying this guy will only bring you misery in the future and another thing younger men make fantastic lovers and is always willing to meet your sexual needs.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): Why do you want to marry Him? This does not sound like a happy, healthy relationship. You are only 56 do you want to go on like this? You will end up never having sex again, how do you feel about that? He says you are sex mad, how can you be if you never have it. I would run like hell, you are still young and could have years ahead of you yet, filled with sex with the right person. Sorry but he isnt the person for you, you deserve better and stop settling for second best. Take heed, get rid.NOW!!!
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, rockelle  +, writes (17 December 2007):
 I am positive that drinking will not solve your problem. Maybe you need to really think about this relationship and whether or not you should be looking for someone who is as interested in sex as you are. If he is not willing to try and satisfy you then i think that you should cut your losses and find someone elsewho will.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): don't marry this man
if you think you can eventually make him a nicer person then continue going out with him but do not tie the know and get tied downed because it sounds like it could lead to a very unhappy break up or a disfunctional marriage. (as he does not seem to value your feelings, which in my opinion is one of the most important factors in marriage
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