A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i need some advice well the thing is im married im 18 years old i know is stupid, i got married when i was 14 and my husband was 18. Wellthe thing is that we went over things that was makeing us apart and we came to the conclusion that its SEX! the thing is that ever since i got married with him i've never experienced an orgasm! i kno is weird! and i dont like sex, i dont find it good, i told him it was maybe that and he said that it was all in me, but its not, because everytime we're in the moment i try to concentrate and i cant i just dont feel the same about sex as of the begining of our relationship. i would like some advice, do i need to go to the doctor or is there anything out there that i can do to increase my sex apetite.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010): It took you 4 years to finally decide to do something about it? Wow! There are a lot of books and you could try a magic wand by Hitachi. If it doesn't work nothing will.
A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (29 January 2010):
 *site*
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A
female
reader, Not My Name +, writes (29 January 2010):
I'll second that sit that Miamine suggested. At the moment my man has a sore neck and back and I have an injured knee. We had a laugh about being a couple of middle aged geriatrics trying to get it on whilst getting around the respective sore bits, but some of the animations over at that site got all the injuries sorted nicely this morning lol.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (29 January 2010):
 Thought this might be too advanced for you, but your a married woman and you need help. It's the best website on the internet that deals with sex. Take a look at the articles and have a good read and see if there is anything discussed there that gives you ideas to improve the sex your receiving.
http://www.sexinfo101.com/
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (29 January 2010):
Me again... do you always have sex with you on your back? Many women find it hard to have orgasms like this.. try to go on top, this may help you find better rhythm as you can move in ways that please you rather than him...
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (29 January 2010):
wow!!!! Is it legal in your country to marry at 14?
Hard one... this is why in most parts of the world the age for marriage and sexual activity is at least 16 - 21years. You and your guy moved so fast, you've missed out on a lot of developmental things. You don't like sex, but that's due to a lack of education. Normally a teenager experiments, she slowly gets to know her guy and finds out about her body and what pleases her or turns her on. But you jumped straight into marriage, there's no time for you to slowly learn, instead you have contracted yourself to have sex with this guy all the time. At 18, he probably knows as little about sex as you do.
How was sex before you got married? Did you enjoy sex with him then? Has sex only become a problem since you became a wife?
A trip to doctor would be a good idea, there is nothing wrong with you, and there is nothing wrong with your husband, it's just a lack of knowledge and technique. However a doctor is experienced in sexual difficulty. He may be able to recommend books to you, or maybe a counsellor or sexual advisor. Ask your doctor for some "KY Jelly", it's a clear gel which you apply to vagina and penis, it helps to make sex go smoother if you are dry and unaroused.
This concentration thing is all wrong, sex has little to do with brains and is all about the body and sensation. Your thinking and worrying to much.
How much foreplay is your partner giving you. You must be totally turned on, sexually excited and wet between your legs for this thing to work. Unfortunately bad sex builds up over time, and instead of finding it more pleasurable, you get more tense and afraid.
sigh... there's not enough space for me to explain fully here how to fix things. You and your husband need to start again, do all the teenage things you missed in your hurry to get married.
That means no sexual penetration for a while. Carressing, kissing, and fondling each other in any place but the bedroom. That's how most teenagers start, they then move on to touching each others sexual parts. They learn how to arrouse each other without sex, and feel comfortable with each others body before sex ever happens. Have you tried oral sex? This is particularly effective for women who have difficulty with sexual penetration.
You say you don't like sex? Have you always hated sex? What is about sex you don't like? As I said, sex covers many things, from kissing and touching, to oral sex, to mutual (or solo) masturbation.
Pick up a copy of the "Karma Sutra", (available free online) unfortunately it's written in old fashioned language and a lot of passages are about how to keep house and arrange flowers, but it dose have a lot of description about different types of sexual activity. The "joy of sex" by Alex Comfort is another useful book, which again has descriptions and explanations.
(sigh) What were your parents thinking off to allow you to marry so young. If you and your husband can't crack this sex thing and make it more enjoyable, I don't see you settling down to happy long lasting marriage.
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