A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I had a friend for about 20 years and often had holidays and nights out I used to defend her with some of the men verbally. She then met another female friend she worked with and we often all used to go out but then trouble seemed to appear-the other lady was nice but it was a case of always things getting reported back then replied to etc etc.My friend and I said lots of things we regretted (well I did) and we busted up this was 5 years Ago, however I do think of her sometimes although I was scared by some of the men friends she got in to with disappearing to Thailand for months on end, or another one taking her to seedy "special" clubs where there were sadists, and all sorts of other "types".I was wondering as 5 years has passed whether to get in touch and try and smooth out new paths etc but two of my men platonic friends say no leave it-because I was often only wanted and used when she had no one else and they said it could all kick off again after a time-which is true.Do you think I should move on and just forget aboutcontacting her again?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOne thing I can assure you is I would not get in touch to see her fall down and say told you so!!!!
20 years of friendship is a long time!!! However it would be easy to get into another argument later on then things get thrown in ones face so probably best all round NOt to persue it!!
Thanks
A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (9 May 2011):
 If it's your conscience you want to clear from things you've said and now regret than a letter is fine.
Forgive yourself also and move forwards. It sounds like you are in a sentimental mood and sometimes those sentiments are not reciprocated as we we would wish them. Put good thoughts and wishes out into the universe. Just good thoughts sent into the cosmos though never received are still worth sending.
Also note that you are still reminded of your friends life's preferences, ones you seem not to respect. If you still cannot accept her differences than I would not approach reunion. Humans sometimes want to know that someone did not do well in life or fulfill accomplishments or succeed in their endeavours to make themselves feel better. We never admit it, but it is a sadistic side of nature. Be careful that you are not looking for self righteousness. The need to point and say "See I told you so"
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2011): If it didn't work out the first time around, it's unlikely to this time. She sounds a bit unsavory anyway.Save yourself a heap of trouble and move on. We're supposed to learn from our mistakes - right?Phil
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