A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I recently was dumped from an affair that I had. He was a wonderful man (or so, I thought). I made the mistake of lying to him about a trip I took with my husband and that ultimately ended it. He wanted complete honesty from me and I broke that. However, how honest can you both be, if you are both married and looking for love on the side?? Like you, it was very intense and I didn't want it to end. I loved his conversations, text messages, FB chats and our time together. Now, he says he wants to cool it while we both get things "handled" with our other halves. I don't know if he really wants to continue anything with me or not. I have made it clear that if he wants any kind of relationship with me....I need that communication. Any advice?Needless to say....I have only seen him once since the breakup and we had dinner. Sex was involved (big mistake on my part) but I think we both wanted it. I want this relationship back and don't know how to get it. Does anyone have any ideas for me? I truely fell in love with this man and he said he did as well. However, all of a sudden it cooled off. I have tried to apologize and meet him in the middle...but so far it hasn't been working. Unless, I talk about sex.Need advice!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): Thanks for your thoughts and advice. I do believe that he was "using" me in a sense. I feel stupid that I fell for it! I believed every word that he said and shouldn't have. Yesterday, I "friended" a mutual friend of ours on FB and then last night he blocked me from viewing his page. If this doesn't tell me how he feels...I don't know what does.
Again, thanks for the advice. It is just so hard to see the logic in the situation when you are in the midst of it!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 April 2010):
Well he's gone back to his wife. There is a big difference between what men and women look for in affairs. I'm guessing you're not really happy in your marriage and you're looking to feel needed. I'm guessing he's relatively happy but is bored with the sex life. You're mad to follow this man. He doesn't care about you, never did. What has happened is that his wife has suspected something, and to ensure he still has the woman at home working for him, he's gone back to her. Do not be stupid and think he cares. He doesn't. He just wants sex and doesn't give a damn about you as a person. So go home and work on your marriage, or get a divorce and find a man who will love you. But don't continue with this affair, because when it goes wrong, you'll be the one who loses the most.
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