I give up my friends, job to be with him in another country and then he leaves me?!

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I met this guy 2 years ago while traveling throughout the world. We dated for a few months and went our separate ways. We kept in contact and i ended up going to see him in his home town and staying for 4 months living with his family, it was amazing, we were so in love. Before I left to go back home he booked a trip to come see me in my home country, he stayed for 5 months and my family wined and dined him, we travelled around and had a blast. He had to go home for school and it was 4 months before i saw him again, but we were in a committed relationship. I worked my butt off for 4 months trying to get over and see him and possibly live with him till he finished school. I gave up my friends, family and career which i had been in my field for 5 years to go be with him and make a go of it. He chose to go to school where there wasnt much work for me (as it was a university town) and we lived in a house that his friend (who was our landlord) treated me really bad and he never defended me. I found out 3 weeks after i arrived that he was drunk when he came back home from my country and kissed another girl and didnt want to tell me cause he was scared i wouldnt come. I became very reliant on him as i had no one here to speak with. Every time we went back to his home town for a visit he would forget me or leave me with his family while he went to hang out with his friends. I felt very under appreciated and was becoming resentful for coming. we bickered a lot over the 3 months since i arrived and after school was over for the year, he told me he was going home and leaving me here cause he doesnt have feelings anymore, he is over the fighting. I cant leave this country now cause i have a contract and he knows that. He went home a week and came back a week later to sort another silly problem out with our landlord and said he wanted to give it another go. only to leave me again 2 days later. he said that when we have sex and once its over he feels like he doesnt want to be in a relationship anymore, we could only have sex if it was unemotional, he told me i was too over affectionate and he doesnt like that. he told me he is confused and every few hours he is giving me false hope that he is still thinking about us, but still wants to be single. I feel so along right now and i have no one here to talk to, his family constantly call me (they are devastated about it all, and think he is making a mistake). he said he still wants to be friends and hopes that i would come visit him during the summer?? he is giving me mixed emotions right now.

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A female reader, Laura1318  +, writes (10 May 2010):

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