A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I broke up about a fortnight ago. Last weekend I ask if we could give each other our stuff back and he agreed saying he'd come over that weekend. He never came. He then called and text me twice through the week with how lonely and sad he was about the breakup, no mention of returning items. The last time I heard from him He sent a message saying how upset he was and I tried to call him. He ignored he call. A few days later I sent a message saying if he didn't come with my things, I d be over on the weekend (he preferred me not to come over as he has housemates where I don't, seemed easier that way). But he has ignored the message. I get he doesn't want this to end, but why is he ignoring me? I'm getting annoyed because I'm not asking for much, he has things of value at my place too. Why is he doing this?Also, why message me with c**p about how you miss the relationship then ignore me when I try and contact you back? Whattt???
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 June 2015):
 Don't leave it up to him to BRING you your stuff. If you have stuff at his place and he has some at yours, PACK up his stuff, tell him to MET up with you in a neutral place with YOUR stuff. Then IF he bring is, you give him his, take your and cut the contact.
Or you CAN ask a friend of both of you to pick up YOUR stuff and then... drop off his. (I wouldn't give him his first, because he might be one of those people who will HOLD on to YOUR stuff to keep you around).
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2015): No dont have compassion. Some people take kindness for weakness. Dont send a friend unless you want to have more to deal with. Dont give him mixed messages if you want him to move on and if you want to move on yourself.Exchange of goods can be done through the courts, through the police, or through an impartial sensible agency , but as hes messing you around id be thinking of doing it through the courts as these things get painful and sticky inthe end. He may notbe hurting as much as you think.He is probably waiting till hes got a new conquest to bring along.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2015): He still believes that old mantra:"play it mean..to keep em keen" so consequently he is continuing to mess you around in the hope that when he finally gets to your place he"ll be able to trip you up so you fall on his d***.He probably thought you had friends with you at the appointed date and didnt show because the above scenario wouldnt happen.But thats what he wants and the stuff at your house will stay there until he thinks the opportunity is ripe enough.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2015): Well he's doing this because you want your things back and he wants YOU back. He's upset and he's punishing you by not returning your texts/calls.I assume you didn't reciprocate when he told you how sad and lonely he was so when you contacted him later on he realised that you probably only wanted your things so he didn't want to talk to you.People are in a swirl of emotions when they break up, anger, sadness, regret etc. When he texts/rings he's feeling sad and regretful but when you ring he feels angry and hurt.Also handing back your things is symbolic and will be the conclusion of your relationship so he's holding onto them as a way of holding onto you.I suggest either you follow through your text and turn up with a bag of his things, politely asking for yours. If his housemates are around there's less likelihood of a scene.Or You wait a couple of weeks and see if he calms down. You don't want to get so annoyed with him you end up having a blazing row by text/phone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2015): Have a bit of compassion he is hurting. Make an arrangement for a friend to take his things over if he cant face seeing you. Always remember to be kind and fair. If this doesnt work then you can take things further.
I think he is just struggling and in denial at this stage.
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