| A
female
,
*reetop
writes: How do i stop being a push over? I have been seeing a guy for 4 months and things are going steadily down hill. He comes to see me and we always end up having a good time, then he stays over, i don't want him too but he gets all moody and starts stamping his (not literally)when i say he has to go home. I know i need to stick to my word to myself but then i doubt myself and can be talked into anything. He doesnt contact me for a while after he has seen me and then i get confused, so this time i plucked up courage and asked him why he came over to see me and i told him that i felt used and i didn't like it. He said all we did was have fun and he can't understand why i'm not happy with it. He said he doesn't want to be having big conversations with me, he just wants to have fun. This situation is making me feel like i am not good enough for him. i have been in a situation like this before but with a big bully who mentally battered all my confidence out of me until he slept with my "best friend". I find it difficult to recognise when someone is treating me disrespectfully because i always dougbt myself. To change, this means that i have to trust myself, i try and then doubt creeps in and i'm back to square one with a massive headache. Do i ruin relationships because i don't stand up for myself? Does anybody else have these feelings or has anybody else conquered this way of thinking?
View related questions:
confidence Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (24 October 2006):
 I am a push over aswell, I always give 100% into a relationship and making that person happy is what makes me happy but in most times it's also what ends up making me unhappy because I get used or played for a fool when all I ever did was love that person, try to make them happy and do whatever I could to treat them how I wanted to be treated then I toughened up and decided to be less of an open book and make people put the effort into being with me and I lost a real great guy because he took it that his failed efforts were due to me using him and playing him for a fool when I just wanted someone to prove that being with me was really what they wanted but my wall I built up not only kept out the bad ones it kept the good ones out too.
You can only ever be you and that's the best thing you can be, and someone will love you for who you are and not walk all over you.
Good luck :o)
A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (23 October 2006):
 You need to learn the word "NO". If he stomps his feet and pouts, show him the door. He sounds like a doofus anyway.
If you don't stand up for yourself, nobody is going to do it for you.
Good luck.
...............................
|
