A
female
age
41-50,
*arahj1980
writes:I'm 28 years old, a full time mum to me gal who is 5 years old and I'm in love with a married man who works in the shop downstairs.Whenever I go in the shop he always talks to me, and I feel a stong connection with him, like there's a very strong attaction there and he feels the same. I'm normally very shy around people that I don't know especially people that I like but it's different with him. I feel very comfortable around him and find it easy to tell him about general things,(not matters of the heart though), I can give him eye contact which I find hard with other people x I can't stop thinking about him, and only go in the shop when I see his car outside and know he is there. Every day my feelings for him are getting stronger, and whenever we talk I get butterflies in my stomach, and my heart misses a beat, and I feel a strong connection with him. I'm so confused as don't know if I'm reading the signals wrong, only seeing what I want to see or if there is something there. He's married with a little girl so I know I have to be careful, but it's driving me crazy not knowing or nothing happening. The other day I was buying some fags and he said you should give it up and I said it was my last packet, then he said that he would check if I buy any, so I'm going to give up for him, but I really wanted to say to ask him what my reward would be if i did, but didn't as too shy. I just want to be with him and see him when he aint at work. I really don't know what to do as can't really talk to him about what I want as he's at work and scared of making a fool outta myself xx pls help!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (3 November 2008):
 "He's married with a little girl so I know I have to be careful" you have to be more than careful, you have to behave yourself with honor and integrity. You have a daughter to raise, be a good example.
A
female
reader, amarsona  +, writes (3 November 2008):
Lady it's pure infatuation and I can assure you it won't lead you anywhere...just stop going to that shop and focus your energies elsewhere...i know its hard when you are attracted to someone but if you have a loving husband and a good family life. For God sake, please don't ruin it...these kind of attactions are fatal and devastating...and hold no future whatsoever...avoid seeing or meeting him...and after sometime he whould be out of your mind...don't encourage any further moves...
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A
female
reader, amarsona +, writes (3 November 2008):
Lady it's pure infatuation and I can assure you it won't lead you anywhere...just stop going to that shop and focus your energies elsewhere...i know its hard when you are attracted to someone but if you have a loving husband and a good family life. For God sake, please don't ruin it...these kind of attactions are fatal and devastating...and hold no future whatsoever...avoid seeing or meeting him...and after sometime he whould be out of your mind...don't encourage any further moves...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): think about what you are asking. Should you have an affair with a married man? You have a lil girl right? Here's a better way to think about this? Do you want a man that will come home to you and your child at night? Do you want a man that you can be seen in public with and not have to look over your shoulder? Do you want a man that you can cuddle with at night and wake up with in the morning? do you want a relationship full of empty promises? Do you want a stable home for your daughter...your children? If you were in a relationship, would you forgive your spouse for cheating and how do you think that would effect your home. Would your marriage or relationship ever be the same? What if you get pregnant? How do you explain this relationship to the child? You will then be left with two children to raise on your own. The man IS NOT and WILL NOT leave his wife. In most cases, they never do.Is this really a tree you want to climb not knowing whats at the top of it? Think long term. Why send yourself through all of this pain? I'm sure that you are much smarter and better than that. Don't cheat yourself or your child. flirt with him if you choose - we are all human - but I wouldn't advise going any further than that. Unless you feel a need to settle for a pork chop instead of a prime rib... LOL!good luck with your decision
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): You could quite easily end up making a fool of yourself. This romance would really be best left in your imagination. He's married, so basically he's out of bounds unless you want a whole boatload of trouble.
It's fine to be friendly with him - as he is with you - but to try to take things any further would be setting yourself up for some serious disappointment and trouble too. And then where would you shop?
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