A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I did something really awful the other night. And I know as people are going to be reading this they are going to be thinking I made my own bed so I should lie in it and that I've done a really bad thing, but trust me I know. I know what I've done is wrong and I'm angry at myself for doing it. I need advice what to do next though. The other night I was out with a group of friends for drinks. We were celebrating that I've just got a new job and the pay rise is pretty big so we got really drunk. By the time we stopped drinking, it was late, so I just said to everyone they could all stay at my flat as I have spare beds. There was 5 of us altogether - including me. I had intended that the girl, who is like a sister to me - we'll call her Katy, would share my bed, and the boys could either share the other spare or one go in the bed and the other two sleep on the floor in sleeping bags, but I went to make us all a cup of tea and when I came back the girl had fallen asleep on one of the beds with one of the guys - don't worry, they are just best friends. I didnt want to wake her so just left her. The other guy had also fallen alseep on the floor, leaving basically me and the last guy. We'll call him Anthony. Anthony and I have known each other about two years and are good friends. We're not really close but I trusted him enough to let him share my bed with me. He has a gf. I know that this was probably the first bad thing I did. So we got in to bed and I think a mixture of the alcohol and the fact we were in bed together ended up with one thing leading to another. At first I kept pushing his hands off me and saying no and that he had a gf - who is also one of my friends, though not a close friend. I just know her and see from time to time. But in the end we gave in and although we didnt have sex, we did go down on eachother. I can hardly claim that I was pushing him off the whole tim because I wasn't. I said no at first but will admit that in the end I was participating just as much as he was. There was no feelings involved. It was just sexual contact and that is it. I know what Ive done is wrong, and so does Anthony. We spoke about it in the morning and he said that his gf had cheated on him a month or so ago and that although he felt guilty because he loved her, part of him felt they were now even and that he could move on with their relationship. We agreed that the best policy would be for us to not tell anyone. That way it stays between us, neither of us tells, and it never gets out and nobody gets hurt. His girlfriend would be devastated. She's also a really nice girl, who on the few occasions I have met her has always come across as a really friendly cool person. She's bisexual (as am I) and she did once ask if I would join her and Anthony for a threesome, but I declined because I was with someone. Thing is though, she didn't conscent to what happened the other night with Anthony and I and I know thats' wrong.I know what we did was really bad and we are totally in the wrong and I feel bad for so many different reasons. Not only feel bad because I know he has a girlfriend but because I gave in to his advances and because I kinda promised myself a month ago I was going to stop having meaningless sexual encounters. I've really let myself down. What I want to do now is do whats best. Am I doing the right thing in just keeping quiet? NOBODY apart from Anthony and I know what happened. I haven't even told my best friend Katy.
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best friend, drunk, has a girlfriend, move on, threesome Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Rapustin  +, writes (16 November 2008):
and guys, seems like most of yall 4got, there were 3 other people in the her flat dat nite, so chances r somebodi saw something, so there's probably already a leak in the "only me, tony, richard & his agony aunties know 'bout it" story...
point exactly: she probably knows already...
A
female
reader, josy  +, writes (16 November 2008):
Trust me, she's gonna find out one way or another, so she better hear it from you than someone else and then hate you for the rest of her life. Just go to her and tell her you guys were really wasted, which I assume was true. She might get mad at you but trust me not forever. Talk to her, it's better than keeping that big fat lie on your shoulder and feeling guilty.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): Hey, if Anthony's girlfriend once asked you to do a threesome with her and Anthony, I would tell her you've decided to go ahead and do it now. But don't tell her you and Anthony went down on each other. Keep that a secret. What two consenting adults decide to do is their own business, and even though you were both drunk, you both willingly went down on each other. So use this as an opportunity to be with both of them, and maybe this could evolve into a three-way relationship, especially since it sounds like you are not with anyone right now.
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