A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I went out on Monday night with some friends and their friends (whom I had never met). One of the guys whom I didn't know asked me for my phone number before I left. He knows I don't have a boyfriend. I gave it to him but I'm not interested at all romantically, although he'd be fun to have as a friend and I don't want to offend him in any way. I'm actually much more interested in his friend. Today he sent me a text asking if I'd like to meet for coffee this week. No desire to have coffee alone with him. Or is it better to just ignore it and pretend I never got it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2013): So you don't want to meet for a coffee? Then definitely ring/ text him- tell him straight you think he's a great, fun guy, and that you want his friendship, but nothing more at present.
Whatever you do, don't ignore him- you gave him your number and if you ignore him he'll think badly of you, that you're rude and messing Him. around.
Good luck! :) xx
A
female
reader, MsSadie  +, writes (22 August 2013):
 I've been in similar situations, but I never even want to be friends with the guy. Really persistent men can be super hard to reject, and so in those cases I'll just ignore their calls and texts.
Your situation is different, though, because you said you COULD potentially see this guy as a friend plus you like his buddy. I think that you should take him up on his coffee date offer, but make it clear once you're there that it's just a friendly outing.
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A
female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (21 August 2013):
 Ignoring him is really rude and it could make things very awkward and uncomfortable if you were to meet again, especially if you have friends in common.
I would meet up with him and tell him that you would be happy to be his friend but nothing more. It might be an embarrassing conversation for both of you but it's so much better to get this kind of thing out in the open early on, rather than leading him on.
Too many people are afraid to tell someone that they don't have any romantic feelings for that person and so they will just avoid them instead. Yes, it hurts to be rejected, but it hurts much more to be strung along for weeks or even months. Life would be a lot less complicated if people were honest about what they wanted and didn't want.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2013): don't ignore him.meet with him for coffee and suggest to invite some friends.this is a subtle way of showing that you are intrested in being friends with him and don't want to be alone with him like a date.and maybe he will also call the guy who you like for the coffee
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (21 August 2013):
 Don't ignore it. That's not nice.
Text him back and just tell him you would only want to be friends, nothing more.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 August 2013):
 I agree ignoring is rude. YOU gave him the number the least you can do it wither tell him no thanks or meet up and be honest.
And in the future don't give out your number if you don't want someone to call you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 August 2013):
 do not ignore him that's rude.
I would call him (not text) and let him know that while you like him as a person you don't see anything more than a casual friendship developing.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (21 August 2013):
 No i would not ignore him, maybe meet for a coffee with him as this would be a good chance to say to him that you only see him as a friend and nothing else, if you get it out in the open early on he will know where he stands and will not build up such an emotional attachment to you, maybe you can both be friends, who knows.
Good luck
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