I found out she had group sex with men and women, not worried she will cheat, just finding hard to deal with it!!

I have recently begun going out with a girl whom I have known as a friend of friends for about five years. After we have been seeing each other about a month we got talking about our relationship histories and she told me that, in addition to her having a history of drugs and promiscuity when a teenager, she has also had group sex on several occaisions with both men and women. I feel devastated by this. It is not that I fear her cheating on me, just that I find promiscuity distasteful in the extreme. She says she has no regrets about her past; but that she would probably have done things differently if she had her time over. I have not yet told her how I feel about this as I want to find a way to cope with it that does not involve making her feel bad about herself. I am searching myself to forgive her past and to concentrate on the now and on the future. I really lilke her and would love to find a solution that would enable me to swallow my insecurity, or whatever it is I am experiencing and to love her for who she is regardless of everything. I have always had a problem idolizing women and it is refreshing to take a more balanced view of someone this early intro a relationship. But so far (it's only been a week) everytime I think I've let my anger and sadness go it swells up again unexpectedly. To be honest if I had had the opportunity to do as she has done in my own youth I probably would have taken it; so I feel hypocritical in addition to everything else! :) Any suggestions? Thank you in advance to anyone who answers me...

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A female reader, Astrid  +, writes (21 September 2006):

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