A
female
age
36-40,
*unshine8508
writes:My boyfriend and I been together a year and one night at work I was looking for a chat room to talk to people when I stumbled on a dating site where u could look and see what kind of people are on there and I saw my boyfriend on there with a profile saying single looking for a relationship. He even put his picture on the profile. How do approach him about this? And what if he already has gone to meet some other women? What would you do about this?
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female
reader, Enya1979  +, writes (9 May 2012):
 Well, guys can be sneaky about these things. If you truly want to find out, then sing up in this web page with a fake account and contact him. Let's see if he will contact you back. If you ask him, he will simply say that it is an old account and he has forgotten to erase it...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2012): Ask him about it. If he wasnt active on a dating site then why keep the profile? especially if it`s showing his photo on it. I would think long and hard as to whether you want to be with a date site loser if i was you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2012): You should find out if its even now maybe it was b4 you got together but if not you need to ask him say you found a profile of him on dating site and you want to know what's going on and if lies you will know and then do what you have to leave or stay and deal with lies and dating websites for years or until he matures
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2012): He will only lie if you confront him. It is the ultimate put down if you are with some one who wants to cheat online. Not only that but it shows an impatience to do it as they cant get anyone quick enough so they try online. I would dump him if he's a wannabe cheat. You are too good for him.
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (7 May 2012):
 Hi
Check to see if it is recent,if it is print it off and confront him.
Do you always look for chatrooms when at work because he might just throw that back at you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 May 2012):
 Print out the page. Show him. It's not like he can lie and say he never made one if it's right there in black & white.
However, I do agree that you might want to try and find out how old the profile is and if you can (some sites let you) see when it was last used.
Talk to him, don't try and pretend you didn't see it.
Though why are you trolling chat rooms when you are supposedly at work?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2012): Hi there,
Step 1: find out how old or recent his profile is? If it's old, it could be something from the past he no longer uses. If it's recent, as in, during the time you have been with him, then Houston, we have a problem!
After a year, both of you should be looking towards the future, and deciding whether you are happy together or to move on.
Your wanting to chat to people after work is innocent, and coming across his profile on a linked dating site is a problem.
The best is to openly discuss it with him. Don't give him a chance to lie or back out. Say you saw it, how you came across it, and ask him what it means? Give him an opportunity to explain himself, and if it doesn't satisfy you, it is basically intention to cheat. How he behaves and treats you, will say a lot. So check how he responds when you discuss this.
If he denies, you have a bigger problem. If he lies, it's even worse. If however, he comes clean and says he was just getting an ego boost, you can still get an apology, a promise to change and try again. If he denies or lies and does not want to discuss it, reflect on the relationship as a whole and see if it's worth being with someone who after a year, is looking for "someone else" basically!
Good Luck!
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