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female
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anonymous
writes:I need help again! This past weekend I found my boyfriend's profile on a dating website. Its been there for a while but he has his profile unsearchable and he claims he doesn't have a membership. But, he also had favorite girls picked from this website that listed at 18 days ago. I confronted him on this and he just kept saying that he's not looking for anyone else and that he loves me and that he just wishes I would believe and trust him. Could he be looking for someone new or am I just overreacting and should I just let it go? Other than this, I'm with him every weekend and we talk everyday and we have a great relationship. There are no other signs of cheating either. Please help me! I love him way too much and I don't want to be hurt again by someone I'm dating. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ellen3  +, writes (6 August 2007):
I have also just found out that my boyfriend has his profile on a dating site, I asked him why and he said just to have a look, but this seems strange to me, does anyone else have a answer to this,
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): I've had a similar experience. My partner of 18 months left his blackburry at mine. I was turning it off (i wouldn't snoop as it's been done to me before) and a message came up from 'girls date for free' stating he had a response to his profile! I feel sick and upset by this but i'm trying to keep it in perspective!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2007): I have recently went through an experience similar to this with my boyfreind of eight months. I also know how it feels to only see my boyfreind on the weekend. I broke up with him but we got back together a couple of days ago. He told me the same thing that your boyfreind told you. Im not sure if its true or not but i didnt have any proof other than what some girl that has liked him for a while told me. You on the other hand have proof. You cant make up excuses for him if you have found proof that he might actually be looking for another girl. If you really love him do what your heart tells you to do. If you can find somebody better you might want to try that and make your boyfreind realize what a great girlfreind you were. Trust me if a man really loves you he will come running back everytime.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2007): Hi I dont know if this helps you but I have done the opposite, I put my personal profile on a dating site and my boyfriend found out about it through friends of his who saw me. I love my partner dearly but during our relationship i have felt very insecure and unloved by him.
Two weeks ago I found a message on his phone saying "Happy Valentines Day Gorgeous", I asked him who it was from and he said he didn't know. He sings in a band and is good looking, he has admitted to me that he is a babe magnet, and he also comments on women's appearnce infront of me. I am a very loyal, loving honest person and I have never done anything like this ever. I had no intentions of carring anything through, I just felt very angry with him and unloved, so I thought what is good for the goose is good for the gander (childish I know). I've been hurt only 12 months ago, and my partner is well aware of this, so therefore if he say he loves me he should try and show it a bit more and not act the way he does.
I know what I did was very wrong, and I feel dreadful about it. He has told me that he loves me but does not feel the same about me. He has said that he wants to be with me and it is up to me if I want the same but we will have to re-build the trust. A relationship wont go anywhere without trust, and I thing for the past 9 months I dont know whether I really do trust him. He never calls me when he doesnt see me, his explanation for this is out of sight, out of mind, which is hurtful especially if you are meant to love someone. I dont get it and I certainly dont understand men. I dont know whether this will help, I just wanted you to see why I did it and it may help you understand why your boyfriend did it.
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female
reader, Midge +, writes (21 March 2007):
 You should perhaps say to him that if he's not looking for something else, then you wont mind if you block that website on your computer. I have software on my computer which allows me to block websites that I dont want on my machine.
So he wouldnt be able to log on and go to that website.
I personally wouldnt be too happy if my boyfriend was going into dating chatrooms etc. For me personally if he were going onto these websites, there would be a problem with the relationship. Perhaps he is needing a little spice in the relationship. Speak to him about the relationship and ask him if he is wanting something different. Maybe its something simple that is wanting but too embaressed to speak to you about. Maybe he is just looking for someone to talk to. You wont know until you ask.
This is a difficult one because each person has a different opinion on what constitutes "cheating" on the internet. I wish you all the luck. Let me know how you get on!
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