A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I'm in an exclusive relationship going on two years. We both own our homes. He is divorced and my husband passed away. He never would give me much information on why they divorced and claimed he never cheated on her, they just grew apart. I was seeing him about a month and he ended our relationship saying a woman he dated previously wanted to try to make their relationship work. A few weeks later I hear from him again asking for a second chance with me. I asked him questions about her and he never provided me with much information, just said he met her after his divorce and was with her a couple of years.He began acting different pulling away from me and I wondered if this woman was contacting him. I found out from someone else. That while he was married they were friends with another married couple and switched partners. His wife ended up living with his friend and he ended up living with his friends wife. This person said they thought they were swingers. I feel sick that I'm just now learning this after two years. Just wondering how this would make anyone else feel.
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divorce, friend's wife, swinging Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (1 May 2012):
 You're very welcome. Best of luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone. Now after the shock has worn off, he's not for me, too many lies. Appreciate the advise.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (29 April 2012):
What concerns me more is that you took him back after he left you for another woman.
How you feel about this is normal and really doesn't need anyone else's validation.
What do you plan to do about this? Are you still with him? Planning on staying with him?
I don't think you have anything with this guy worth fixing. If this were me I'd cut my losses and move on.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (28 April 2012):
 Personally, I don't think it matters how other people think about your boyfriend's past. What matters is what YOU feel about it. I think on some level you are looking for validation.
It would appear that your boyfriend's past relationship died out because of that he and his ex-wife obviously weren't having sex. He probably jumped into whoever was available at the time to fill the void.
While certainly not a pleasant new his actions, at least on some level, are understandable.
If you feel upset by this, I think you need to talk to your boyfriend and find out more about him. It would appear that there is potentially more behind this situation. However, do realize that you cannot change your boyfriend's past and his actions were a result of coming out of a dead relationship and the need for affection.
Do give yourself some time to sort out your feelings as well. You've obviously invested some significant time into this relationship. Eventually you'll either accept your boyfriend's past indiscretions or you'll decide that its time to move on -- but that choice is 100% up to you.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Thisiscrazy  +, writes (28 April 2012):
 If there is doubt and distrust in our mind turn away and leave him to it protect yourself ..it sounds to me like he is playing you and her wanting the best of both worlds be careful put yourself first for once
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