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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my partner for 8 years we do not live together, but stay at each others houses, in the fourth year I caught him with a woman at his house, he made an excuse about it and that was forgotton and now I am at his house regular and I found a birthday card from another woman who he has given the same nickname before her name as he has given me, which I thought was special to me, this really hurts, he says there is nothing in it. What should I do about this? He says he will never marry me, or live with me permanent. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Kimmi Rocks +, writes (21 April 2006):
Send him a card with HIS special name on it and tell him he's been dumped.Putting aside his playing around with this other woman, he's told you plain and clear that he doesn't want to commit. I know it's hard and it's a place we've all been in.My guess is that you need to work on building your self esteem and confidence. You can't do that whilst he's around sending you messages that you're not good enough for him. The best form of revenge is success. Give yourself a complete image and mental makeover..............out with the old and in with the new............and that includes him.Don't waste any more time on this guy and I wouldn't mind betting that you'll be back here in a years time telling us all that you've met a wonderful guy and that you've settled down. You deserve to be treated like a queen so start acting like one. Good luck doll. xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2006): He's not being very nice is he ? He's not even being very inspired, fancy giving another woman your pet name.You have invested a lot into this relationship but it could be that he has invested less.He's acting like an available man because you have been happy about the situation. The time has come to let him know that you are not happy about it any more. you could end up like this for decades, put a stop to it now. Tell him you love him and want him all to yourself, thats normal isn't it? If he doesn't think so then perhaps it's time you took your heart back and saved it for someone who wants to build a wonderful life with you. You deserve better.
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (20 April 2006):
 Sounds like your boyfriend is a committment phobic.If after 8 years he has told you that he wont live with you or marry you then it sounds like a dead end relationship going nowhere,now if you are happy with that,then thats fine but you have caught him with another woman in his house,which could of being perfectly innocent but you have also found a birthday card from another woman.What makes it a bit suspicious is he hasn't told you anything about these women?...why? You have been with him quite a few years but you dont really know who is friends are.While there is nothing wrong with having friends with the opposite sex...he still doesn't meantion them...so i find that odd.I think you have got to ask yourself this....Do you want to stay with a man who only wants you part time?...Can you put up with his lady friends,who he wont introduce you to? Only you can answer that question....if that was me,i would want a bit more committment then that,and i would want trust in this relationship,which i feel you dont have.Go with your gut feelings,if it doesn't feel right...then it probably isn't.
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