A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:boyfriend really wants anal sex but weve tried before, i can have a finger in my ass and i enjoy it its just that having him in there really hurts and is uncomfortable i dont know how to fully relax and let him in,it is wat he really wants any tips on how i could overcome this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2007): Well Sweetheart:When it comes to anal sex it don't have to hurt. It would seem to me that your partner is in a bit of a hurry to get it in, whatever that it is. The first rule of thumb, play on words, is to be sure to use lots of lubrication, as the two muscles that surround your anal opening are very tight. And they have the tendency to want to keep things out or in, whatever the case may be. The easy way is to start small. By small, You don't start out by parking your car up your butt. Your Forefinger will do nicely to start out with. Getting those anal muscles relaxed, you should engage in a daily,forefinger,self-stimulation of your anus when you are taking a shower. Then you can gradually increase the size of your anal-toy. If the anal sex hurts, then your body is saying that you're doing it wrong or he is. However, If you are not open-minded to anal-sex, and lots of women are not. Then this in its self may not be letting your body relax and enjoy anal sex. We don't just love with our genitals, but with our whole bodies.
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 If you don't want it, he doesn't get it. Period. There's satisying you're partner's needs, then there's sticking to your ground. If you don't want to do it, don't do it. If it hurts you and he's aware, but still keeps asking, he doesn't respect you.
DV1
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A
female
reader, nicola79 +, writes (24 May 2007):
 well you say its what he really wants,but is it what you really want? if you dont want it then i think you will never relax and it will always hurt you. but if you do want it,try having a drink first because that should hep you relax,also do you use loob,it will just make it that bit easier to get it in.
you have to be 100% sure you want to do it though. xxx
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A
female
reader, mcbirdie +, writes (24 May 2007):
 Enjoyable anal sex comes down to three things: lubrication, relaxation, and patience. And you cannot have too much of any of those three.
First, make sure you're using a good lube--preferably one meant for anal sex as those tend to be heavier and last longer. Also make sure that you're using enough--'enough' usually looks like 'too much', but with anal, there really is no such thing.
The relaxation and the patience--especially your partner's patience--go hand in hand. You need to be able to trust that he isn't going to do anything too fast or too hard and end up hurting you. To this end, you need to be able to talk to him. Anal sex is one of the few sexual acts that you really need to keep talking through to make sure everyone is doing alright.
The best tip I can give you is that when you first start and your boyfriend has just entered you, have him hold still--before he gets full penetration. Have him hold still for however long it takes for you to relax your muscles. Don't try to force yourself, just breathe deep and take your time. Once you give him the signal that you're ready to progress, have him move slowly. Have him continue to move slowly until you tell him he can speed up.
This entire process needs you to be able to communicate openly with him. If you can tell him what you're feeling and needing, and he can respond appropriately, I think you'll come to enjoy it very much.
Good luck and enjoy. :)
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (24 May 2007):
 well chick, you have to make sure its deff what you want (anal) and if u do definatly want it then there are plenty of ways for you to ''let him in ''. The best product i can sugest for you is lubricant which is a realy big help because of how easy it makes insertation. it does feel differnt though, a finger is a finger not a penis.. it is a big difference. once the lubricant is on and the penis is in, it should be better than without lube. hope i helped, mail me if u wan 2 talk x x x
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