A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are both 21, we have been dating for 2 1/2 years and we are starting to talk about marriage. My main concern is that he is not very masculine. He does not have any leadership traits, he is not chivalrous (he has bought me flowers twice in our entire relationship), he has never been even remotely aggressive or ambitious, and he is 'weak' (not really physically, more like his personality and character). I find myself constantly having to take the leadership role and I am getting tired of it. I don't want a maniac boyfriend, but is there any way I can make my boyfriend more of a leader and less of a wimp?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Banoffee  +, writes (15 June 2007):
 So let's see if we've got this straight. You see your boyfriend as lacking several personality traits that you would prefer him to have and to top it off he's weak, but at least it's only his personality and character. Poor bloke! And you're talking about marriage? Er, what planet are you on?
Take a step back and read what you've written from an objective point of view. You've got to admit, it's pretty comical!
A
male
reader, Cag Lee "Apollo" Adarma +, writes (15 June 2007):
 Hey,
"you don't want a maniac boyfriend"- this is interesting.
You realise there is an excess that you don;t want but you want him to be more ...the way you want him to be.
Do you think he wants you to be more intelligent, funnier, more charming?- would you see those wants as false on his part?
Not everybody is a leader not everybody is chivalrous. You have got 2 years into your relationship and the reason why this is now presenting itself as a problem is because your young adults- when you started dating you were literally in adolesence.
He may just be a person uninspired- they do exist.
This trait of weakness wasn;t really explained- is he not supportive, nuturing, of good council?
are these thing that your relationship are missing, if so you need to discuss that with him.
Happy Living!
The Capt
(rate me!)
...............................
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