A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I find it very hard to make friends. I am very lonely at times especially after college when I go home and on some weekends. I don't know if it is my attitude as I don't believe I'm aggresive or whatsoever. For example at college, I go in, sit, listen to teacher, and leave. I don't like approaching people just randomly, yet everybody seems to know each other? Can you guys please give me some advice into how to make friends? How do I make a conversation? How would I ask a person for their number to be friends (male or female)? and to keep in touch and make the friendship grow stronger? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, geoz +, writes (3 March 2009):
Hi....
I think you sound like you have a lot to give in a friendship. If you have a particular interest in something, one way of making friends is to join a club that others who share your hobby will go to and you'll have some common ground to start from.
Even try an online group - I met a few friends from a couple of groups I joined and some of them are really good mates now. I have one or two very close friends and that's what matters. A lot of people are actually more nervous and shy than they first appear - don't feel you have to pretend to be someone you're not to be liked...like the post below mentioned, it will always fail. Just be yourself and like yourself and people will naturally gravitate to you. Equally, be approachable, give eye contact, smile if you feel like smiling or just say "hello" once in a while to someone you recognise or even ask them about something going on in class and things will organically and naturally progress from there.
I realise this is easier said that done but take one day at a time and remember that you won't be alone forever. Late teens and early twenties are a hard time for most people and we have all been through how you feel. I felt very lonely in my teens but as I learnt to like myself, I felt more confident as I got older and then I just had no choice but to talk to people because of work etc.
Take it easy - you'll make friends soon.
A
male
reader, MyDestiny  +, writes (2 March 2009):
 just make sure you interact and conversate with every body in the class..even if you're just saying hi or asking to boroww a pencil..it's a a start
dont be shy just talk to a few people..start a conversation..and over time things will pick up
if you just go in, sit, listen to the teacher and leave..?? how are they gonna know who you really are?? they're just gonna know you as the guy who never talks..
to me, this is my philosophy, out of every single person you meet, you have to always try to make an empression on them, even if you dont gain that special bond in one day,,keep trying and you'll get more comfortable...
Now when you move or leave..they'll be like "that was a great guy, i'm really gonna miss him"
so dont be shy, be more confident, comfortable in your own skin, be you and sooner or later you'll be packed with good friends
gudd luck
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