A
female
age
30-35,
*ndisclosedDesires
writes:A while ago I met someone online who I have now fallen for. We both like each other and plan to meet up. However, I'm worried that he might 'give up' and stop liking me because I find I can't really open myself up to him, and I give the impression that I'm not very comfortable speaking to him. It isn't that 'he might not be the one', because none of my past relationships got very far for the same reasons. I find that I can be completely honest with him, and I'm not scared to tell him things about me that perhaps not even my friends know, but sometimes I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing, and I worry a lot about how, not just him, but people in general might react or think about me if I said or did certain things, and I'm afraid I'll embarrass myself. Particularly when it comes to relationships, or someone I like, and I'm guessing this is down to lack of experience, so I kind of don't know what I'm supposed to do, or how I'm supposed to act, so then I come off as uninterested and distant, and I close up when it comes to intimacy because I just don't know what I'm supposed to do/say - even just talking to him online! My ex broke up with me because of this; we never really did anything, and if you weren't told we were together then you would never have thought it. And I feel like it's my fault because I never really did anything... I mean, I still haven't had my first kiss! I don't want the same thing to happen this time, because he's really nice and so patient. Is it normal to be like this, and is there any advice you could give me (apart from 'be yourself', because this IS myself)? It might not sound that bad, but it's hard to explain the extent of it.
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