A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right I'll shorten this as much as possible, I don't have much time on my hands right now.Basically I've known this guy for about 10 months, we've met about 5 - 9 times I think, at parties and social gatherings etc, and between THOSE times we've also been conversing online through msn and facebook - almost every day for a couple of hours each. During this time we have become very close friends of course, knowing eachothers interests, things that make us happy and other little things such as knowing our favourite foods and places to go. Just the little things that make friends friends.Well, it comes down to this: we do have feelings for eachother, we have admitted it to one another on a few occasions. We've been carefull and safe about it though, we haven't done anything inappropriate or even kissed. It's just...I'm only sixteen, and this probably won't come as a shock to you Agony Aunts as it is all over this site - especially girls my age - but this guy is twenty seven. I know, he is quite a bit older than me, and you are within all your rights to say I should break it off and not see him...or that it is wrong. You may be right, and infact probably are, but I feel I am mature enough to handle this situation. One thing that does worry me though, is my capacity to really understand his intentions. I find it hard to think of him as being a 'pervert', he is very sweet, interesting, hard working and funny. I can't see it in him.He is born and raised italian, so naturally he is passionate and believes love to be important. We have discussed many things, from politics to baby food. We are that close and we enjoy it immensely! He wants me to come to Italy so he can take me to his favourite gelato cafe, and he also wants me to meet his famlily. He says his mother likes me :) I just don't know what to do, I mean I've had my share of failed relationships, and I'm afraid all were with men in their twenties (never anything inappropriate). I think I just want to be good friends with him, because throughout my (however short) life I have come to the decision that I think I should wait until I'm older for a relationship - not for my sake but for my partners, though perhaps it would do me good too.I feel conflicted because he really seems to genuinely like me, maybe love me. He has even mentioned marriage - though in a joking way it seems that deep down he means it. Haha we were talking about our favourite fruits, and we discovered we both loved cherries, and he proposed that we should get married because we were perfect together. It sounds more serious than it was - that isn't the exact phrasing. Anyway, I need you Agony Aunts and Uncles to offer me advice on what to do next, and what to say to him. I am quite sure (even though I do hold romantic interest for him) that I only want to be friends.Thank you very much for reading the whole thing,Katerina
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): Just do what comes naturally to you and what feels right. Don't let anyone dictate to you what you should do otherwise you'll only be unhappy, and you've only got one shot at this life so do what feels right and go with whoever's going to make your life the best it possibly can beGood luck and have fun!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Casey.live and Flynn 24, although you are only two answers to my question, you have answered with the equal wisdom of 1m plus! Everything is fine so far, but you are right, I think I could handle it if I chose...but I don't want to. I have my life to live right now, and being young is something that doesn't last. I shouldn't have to make any large committments like this just yet. And yes Casey.live, I should be careful about talking online, as I know that people can pretend to be who they're not online. But no need to worry there :) I'm good with those sort of things.
Thanks again, you were more than helpful - really thanks.
Katerina
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2010): Go for it, it sounds good
just be cautius as people could pretend to be someone alse on the Internet, and I mean personality wise
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2010): Legally you are in the clear... in Britain and most other civilised western countries.You may wish yo check up on your town's age of consent laws.If there are no legal hurdles, I say have fun and hope for the best. But understand that almost all relationships in the teenage years never last.Sometimes they do. There are exceptions to every rule. But these are not common.I do think you aren't ready for a fully adult relationship just yet. I think you COULD handle it if you chose to. You seem like an intelligent and mature young lady.But you can have no idea just now of the obstacles that lay on the road to adulthood, and the things that come with marriage and commitment.If you do chose to engage a full blow relationship, I wish you the best of luck and a happy one. But remember, the odds are heavily stacked against the bother of you.But also remember that love has overcome worse things throughout history.Flynn 24
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