A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:After taking abit of time out and just recalling a few things which have happened over the years I relized something rather strange about myself. Ive always been a rather happy person and I don't wish to boast but i have also been called very intelligent for my age. But ive realized in the last week i seem to have a very delayed reaction to tramtic events. Its rather puzzeling now i think about it and I am really just wondering if it is normal. For instance, my uncle died a year ago this month and when he died i didn't feel anything for about a week and then it suddenly hit me like a brick wall. Also when I lost my home and had to move in with my grandma i had no reaction what so ever, and now i even find it hard to pick up on the true intentions of people. For example i can't tell if someone is being sarcastic or generally kind whic really confuses me. It could be because ive had so many bad things happen as i was growing up that now my brain is so used to them it doesn't even choose to react, but sometimes i kind of feel like i don't have any emotions and if like someone has something real bad happen to them i find it hard to feel sympathy or anything for them. Is this normal and is anyone else the same? Thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 November 2011):
 Delayed reactions when someone dies is completely normal because it takes a while for the news to actually sink in and become real, this is called being in shock. Most people take a while to accept that someone they love has passed away. Completely normal.
As for not being able to read people. Well am guessing that maybe you are a little insecure about yourself and when someone is being nice you find it hard to accept that there is not a hiding agenda behind it and you wonder why they are being nice or friendly towards you.
You say a lot of bad things have happened to you in the past, so your body is probably putting up a wall of defence so that you do not allow yourself to be hurt by others. If you feel that you have issues in your past that you are finding hard to deal with then maybe you should go and talk to a therapist who can help you through them.
A
female
reader, champagne69  +, writes (16 November 2011):
Firstly, you're only very young and over thinking this WAY too much - there is nothing wrong with you nor is your brain 'delayed' due to bad things happenning when you we're growing up, sorry but you still have a lot of growing up to do.
With traumatic experiences such as the death and passing of a family member/friend, there are several stages that people go through - shock being the first, this period of shock which may include denial of the events that have happened can last days, to weeks to months even. So it is very common for this to have hit you all of a sudden a week later, rather than immediatly after you heard the news.
As for the situation when you had to move homes, you are only very young so this shouldn't have had to effect you in such a way that you are expecting it to.
You're worried you can't tell when people are being sarcastic etc, this is all about understanding people and you will only learn with age, I'm eighteen and I'm very intelligent but I am terrible at understanding peoples intentions or whether they are making a joke or what. That's just the way I am. But you cannot expect yourself at such a young age to understand everything so well, I would stop worrying because you have absolutely NO need to, just sit back and enjoy being a kid whilst you still can!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2011): I think that sounds fairly typical, when you are faced with a big event like a death for example, alot of people go into shock, and do not react at all. Other people deliberately suppress their own feelings (sometimes without realising it) because everyone else is also upset and they wish to appear strong so that they can support their loved ones. Everyone copes with things differently, it doesn't mean you don't have emotions, and just because you might feel sympathy for someone, doesn't necessarily mean that you have to outwardly express that through tears, some people do, some do not. the amount of emotion displayed at such events can even be influenced by your culture, as some cultures express emotions in different ways. As for picking up on emotions of other people, again, not everyone is very good at this, and even among close friends or family that have known each other for a long time, there can be misunderstandings in coversation about what the person really meant.
I would say that as long as you are able to maintain friendships, and it isn't really having a negative impact on your life, then don't worry about it too much and don't worry about if it is normal or not. It is possible that the bad things in your life have made you better at coping, which is not necessarily a negative thing either. I hope this helps!
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