A
female
 ,
*uzzie
writes:I don't understand my bf's behavior. I had been unemployed for a really long time, and he used to ride me about it and tell me that I needed to better my life and that I was just living off the system (welfare). Well I wasnt totally doing nothing, I had two volunteer positions and really WAS trying to better my life by getting a good reference from the volunteer jobs.Well anyways I finally got hired at a good company, actually a UNION!! At first my bf was happy for me and told me he hoped it would work out.Well the job had been going SOO well, and I told him how happy I was and how nice everyone was to me. Then he just sort of said something sarcastic about how well it was going for me.I don't understand him. First he's mad that I don't have a job, and then I get a job and he doesnt like it!What do you think his problem is? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2005): Some men think they have to compete with their women to be the breadwinner in the household, and don't take to having their SO's working and earning as much, or even more than they do. It hurts him in the eyes of his so-called friends, who tease jim that he isn't good enough ( earning enough) to take care of his woman. Of course, this is all a bunch of crap, and they know it, but they test out every guy to see if they can get to him. Its a form of nonphysical combat. But it is just as abusive, and the hurt can be tremendous. Make sure you talk to him about how the household budget will now be adjusted now that you are bringing home a paycheck too. I suspect he has foregone buying some things for himself because he couldn't afford them while you were unemployed. Get him to talk to you. someplace quiet, and alone, so you can listen and talk to each other honestly about this newest change in your lives. Plan to save some of that money for both of you, in case either of you gets unemployed again some time.
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