A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl through mutual friends. I was attracted to her straight away and it felt like she was interested in me too, there was definitely a spark between us. However... right from the start she said she had a boyfriend so I kept a fair distance. A few days ago, she said that some friends had blown her off to go to the cinema and did I want to go instead. I said yes, trying not to think too much of it. At the cinema, I got carried away and basically lent in to kiss her and she kissed me back. I thought that meant that she must have broken up with her boyfriend, but she's still with him!I feel like such a complete idiot. I thought that maybe it was one of those expired relationships where you're just together for the sake of it, but he called her while we were together so there's obviously still something left. It's such a cliche, she says she isn't happy etc. etc. but... she's still with this guy so what does it matter?I've not felt this way about a girl in a really long time and now I don't know what to do. It would be hard to cut her off because I'd still have to see her if I want to stay friends with my friends! And part of me doesn't want to cut her off, I really like her. Do I have any chance of actually being with her, or do I just have to accept I'll be the 'other guy' if anything?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 July 2015):
 Nope, don't even think about her...
How would you feel if you were dating A girl (or this girl) and she kissed some other dude and told the same stories about her "sad" relationship? Would you not feel duped? Cheated?
I know many people say, go for it - but I'd say STOP and think. This isn't JUST about YOU and her. There is a BF (another human being) involved here, that YOU aren't even considering.
Do unto others... Know that saying?
So would you LIKE for another guy to kiss YOUR gf? To hit on her? I bet the answer is no. So if you don't want others to do that... then WHY are you contemplating doing it yourself?
Moral compass.. if yours is a little broken, work on that.
And as for cutting her off, you can still hang with friends and around her, but you NEED to step back from anything further. But I'd cut ALL texting/phone calls and just be polite if she is around, not engage in any one-on-one activities.
Don't be a douche.
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