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female
,
anonymous
writes: My heart is in turmoil because a few months ago I met a man I love very much, but the circumstances of our relationship are causing me great emotional pain. Before meeting him I had been alone for many years raising my son on my own. After falling in love with this man, I discovered that he is married. His wife has been terrorising me daily with threatening phone calls and unannounced visits to my home. I laid a charge against the wife but had to withdraw it after he repeatedly begged me to do so. I have been trying to break up with him but he refuses to let me go. If I don't answer my phone, he shows up at my workplace. At first he said that he couldn't choose between me or his wife but now he says he has chosen me and I must just give him time - about 2 months. This past week I suffered a miscarriage at 5 weeks and am devastated but am not sure whether to tell him because I don't want to cause him pain (he didn't know I was pregnant). The other problem is that I discovered he is addicted to mandrax. He says he was clean but started again because of the stress of his problems. Then, my parents are upset because he is Indian and I'm white and also, he holds a very low-paying job. I feel like hanging in there because I love him, but I'm hurting so much...any suggestions would be welcome.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (18 January 2006):
 Looks like a rather bleak future ahead for you if you stay in this "relationship". I'd tell him to clean up his act and when he's drug free and divorced to look you up. By then you may not be the slightest bit interested and be on your way to a bright future.
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