A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship for almost nine years now. It has been a rocky nine years due to affairs on both sides. We have two beautiful children together. About three months ago I joined a website just to make friends to chat with when I got bored at work. I ended up striking up a relationship with a wonderful man. One thing led to another and before I knew it we met and the next thing I knew we were telling each other how much we loved the other and making plans for our future. I saved up money and planned on moving out. When it came down to it and I was having a talk with my six year old son about what was happening his response just broke my heart. I then decided I had to try to keep my relationship with his father for the sake of the kids, even though I'm desperately in love with another. I broke his heart and also lost my best friend in the process. I just don't know if I'm making the right decision. I don't want to always wonder what could have been with the other man (and I know I will). I also don't want to pretty much fake how I feel about the children's father. Is there anyone else that has been in this situation? I really need some third party advice on what to do.....it would be truly appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): I left my family to be with another man. I had been in an unhappy relationship for 15 years. I gave up everything and it wound up being the biggest mistake I could ever have made. I wished I had never left. I wished I had never met the other man. The new relationship turned out to be far worse than the unhappy one I was supposedly in. Stay where you are and try to find happiness. The grass is not greener. I wish you luck.
A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (19 June 2007):
 I pity your children who are innocent victims of this mistake you call a relationship.
Clearly both of you have commitment issues. The longer you deny this obvious truth the more screwed up your children will become.
The only advice that can possibly sink in to both of your selfish skulls is to do what you can to minimize the damage your choices have wrought on your children. The best thing that both of you can do is to put your emotional energy into your children and not other relationships that are destined to fail.
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A
male
reader, bloke44  +, writes (19 June 2007):
If your marriage of nine years has been plagued by affairs then surely that indicates there is not enough in the relationship for happiness. Time to break free but the sensible thing to do is to spend 6 months to a year on your own (or just light relationship) so that you can find your individuality again.
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