A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:you might think this is a bit weird but i feel so down! about 14 months ago i was in a nighclub with my girl friends, we had a really good night, and i pulled lol, i met this really funny, drop dead gorgeous guy! and we got on really well. we went in to this same night club for a few fridays on the trot and me and this guy always ended up dancing, well after about 6 weeks, we kissed.. from there we swapped numbers, we met up in town one random thuraday day time, went for a coffee and strolled round town. it was a great day! me and him really got on well. i began to really like him. we met up a few times, we went into town, we went to the cinema a few times, we walked to random places, he drove us to the country side. we really got on! we were both single, no kids.. things couldnt be better. my friends really liked him. things were goin great, after about 6 months of knowing him, he asked me out to dinner, as a proper sort of formal date. it went great. we ended up back at his (he lives alone) and we ended up sleeping together for the first time, from there i felt like i was in love with him, i couldnt stop thinking about him, we never actually officially got together but we saw each other nearly every day, we had a great sex life and i just loved his company, after nearly a year i invited him along to a family celebration, it was my uncles 50th birthday! unfortunately he couldnt come, he also had a birthday party to go to. i never thought anything of this. and i said well okay another time maybe? sorta thing! i was in such a good mood! he'd made me so happy!i went to the party on the friday night, was havin a really great night and i was dancing with cousin (we were like, best of friends for 21 years.. we were brought up together), were both 22 now :) anyway.. i went and sat with my mum, gettin a bit drunk as you do lol! and this guy walked into the party. my mums face his the floor! i asked her what was wrong, she said it was nothing.. after about 10 minutes later i managed to get it out of her, she said to me "you see him who walked in?" i said yeah mum.. she said "well... (went silent for a minute) hes your.. dad." i was so shoked! then she pointed to this guy and said "hes your brother" well i burst out crying and i ran into the toilets! my cousin followed me, and asked me what had happened, we had a proper heart to heart talk, i told her everytihng about this guy id met and then i said "hes stood out there shan" she asked me what i meant! i told her about this guy id met, then i told her what my mum had said, i didnt realise that the guy i was actually sort of seeing, the gorgeous guy id fallen in love with was my brother! id never ever met him, my dad walked out on me and my mum when i was 9 weeks old, this guy, who i now found out was my brother was just 8 months younger than me! it all clicked into place.. my dad got some one else pregnant which is why him and my mum split up! this was the guy he had made.i was devastated! luckily, we had used protection EVERY time, but its making me feel like shit now. im gettin so many different feelings, i feel dirty, aswell as ashamed, and confused, i had sex with my brother! i fell in love with my brother! theres no way we could have a relationship.. after the party i explained everything to my mum, shes been really good to me, and i met up with this guy, my brother.. whatever im meant to call him! last thursday.. we spoke for about 3 hours, we explained everything we knew to each other, and we decided to put what had happened in the past and leave it there.. we would never speak of our relationship before we found out we were related! but its breaking me, its really confused me, i feel so bad, i dont know what to do! i really need a bit of advice about how to cheer myself up and be able to see my brother without all these feelings and emotions runnin round me! please can someone help me x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): You don't have any reason to feel bad about what happened. You felt, and obviously still feel, like you are in love with this guy, even though he's your brother. As long as your relationship and the sex was based on love, there's nothing wrong with it. There's an old saying that you can't help who you fall in love with. This kind of thing has happened to a lot of people. Bottom line is if you feel like you do love each other and want to pursue a relationship, then you should go with your feelings and not let anyone else tell you if it's right or wrong.
There is a website called Genetic Sexual Attraction that is devoted to this issue. There are a lot of posts from men and women who have fallen in love with their brothers and sisters or other immediate family, like long lost parents. The woman who runs it has written a book on this subject. So I would suggest you check it out and maybe register there and post your experience so others there can help you. If you have more questions or want to provide follow-up information, please post back here.
Another website where you can go to post about this is the Hip Forums at www.hipforums.com. There are other women there who have had this same kind of experience. The Incest Taboo website is yet another place. In fact, there is a post there from a woman who said she's in love with her big brother, and they've been having a relationship for several years. Do a Google search for Incest Taboo Forum and the site will come up. It's a pay site, but it might be worth the price to get advice from others about your situation. Good luck and do post back here to keep us updated about how you are handling this situation.
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (28 June 2009):
 i seen something similiar before and luckily for you she was going to marry him a couples of months later she just invited her mum round to sort out some wedding plans and thats when she found out it was her brother. she said she couldnt comprehend it all it was just too much she broke down for a few months depression and what not but then she realised that its happened and the only thing now that counts is how you deal with it you either deal well or deal bad and she says the only thing you will regret is loosing part of your life dealing with it badly. so she got herself going out with friends doing new hobbies she enjoyed doing she got her life back on track before she met with her brother, since that fateful day. she said she felt weird about it but with time she got used to the fact he was a brother and not a lover. so the answer i can give you is with time things will sort themselves out but you have to help fate along by getting yourself out their doing things you enjoy being with people you know will support you and looking forward to the future and the lucky thing is you now have a brother to care for another person to get to know and have in your life i know its a cruel way of you being introduced but thing work out for the better so try and put these emotions to the side have a good cry and then just say no more tears will be shed ive mourned and now im gonna get my self out their and continue with life. hope that helps good luck aphex xx
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