A
male
age
30-35,
*am jar
writes:i fell in love wiv some guy over msn (i didnt know him but i couldnt help it) and when i told him i loved him he sed he loved me to. he likes it when i flirt wiv him but a few days later he told me to stop thinking of him in tht way and, like i sed i didnt know him so it was a little strange, it hurt because i could tell tht he was trying to let me down easily and now i feel empty and bored all the time and keep crying myself to sleep. what should i do
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male
reader, gonn +, writes (29 January 2010):
Oh dear... I feel related.. to you and to Janine...prolly you are over him already, cuase this was a year ago...
I really like a guy in Oz, and I live in the UK, so yeah pretty much the other side of the world. Sometimes i think i could go visit him, some other times i think i should go on with my life, if i dont want to get hurted, because i know that eventually he will start dating someone, which is logical.... so i totally feel you mate, but i guess we both should listen to Janine.
xx
A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (28 January 2009):
sorry to say this, but i doubt it was love..it was probably more like lust and need. i know that sounds harsh, but you can't fall in love with some one who you meet over MSN. love is when you no everything about that person, their smile and you just love being with them and can't live without them. not a chat on MSN. sorry hun, but you are young and when you are older you will realise this. at your age you think lust is love, it can be confusing, but trust me...it's not love.
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A
male
reader, jam jar +, writes (28 January 2009):
jam jar is verified as being by the original poster of the question btw hes 14 and a friend of a friend and i know i am gay he wants to stay friends wiv me
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A
female
reader, itsJanine  +, writes (28 January 2009):
 Oh boy. Stranger danger relationships are never good. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging. I was in a case similar to this, except it was with a guy in Australia. Yep, Australia. And I live in Canada. I'm sure you can figure out how that went.
My advice to you is simple and predictable, but it will help. Let him go, forget about him, block him: he is NOT good for you. When you feel those empty pangs, find a close, long-term friend you feel safe around and talk to them instead. Eventually they'll become a safety net to you, and you won't want to talk to this MSN jerk anymore. All you'll want to do is chat it up with your bud.
I know that boredom can really suck you in, but try to find something else to do. Turn off your computer if you have to. Read a book, find a new tv show to try out (I recommend Lost), go for a walk to clear your thoughts. This may sound extremely tacky, but write out everything you're feeling with this guy. After writing about him a lot, you'll get much of the "missing him" blues out of your system and you can focus on better things that are worth your time.
I know this all sounds pretty bummer-esque, but I can promise you this: you will feel so incredibly free when you realize you don't care about him anymore.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (28 January 2009):
 How old is this boy/man?
Is he still having any contact with you?
Problems with relationships that are just internet ones are that they are not at the whole thing, you can be someone yoiu would like to be and they can be the same, you can loose your inhabitions and tell someone things that you have not or would not tell anyone else.
You build up a picture in your head of the other person and sadly the person you think you know/ have feeling for is not that person at all.
It is easy to fall for someone who says the right things and pays you a lot of attention even if it is on the net, you feel they are your soul mate and you look forward to them logging in, you can end up relying on the internet relationship and not seeing your friends or family, you can become very very dependent on a person who you have not and may never meet.
Sounds to me like you are depending on the relationship that you have built with this guy and he is realising this and is backing off as he does not want you to get hurt.
Love is a very strange thing and I suspect it is possible to fall in love with someone even if you have not met them and ending this internet relationship will hurt just as much as if you had actually met him.
But end it sounds like it is and that is something you will just have to adjust too and your heart will hurt for a time but you will get over him and hopefully meet yoiur perfect partner and have a non internet relationship.
Do you have worries about your sexuality is this why you are chatting to gay blokes and if so maybe you should talk to a school councellor or ring one of the gay helplines, its just a thought in case you are unsure of your sexuality.
Word of warning about internet chat rooms and that is be careful, dont meet with anyone unless you have told someone where you are meeting, make sure its a public place, have bus fare with you and a phone etc. People are oftern not who they say they are and can be a lot older than they tell you, so be very very careful. (lecture over lol)
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