A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I started to fall in love with a man I used to work with. I have now left. Before leaving we both knew we were strongly attracted but did nothing about it.After nearly a year, I still thinking about him continuously. Despite him asking for more information about me, I was always hesistant. I feel I spoilt things due to this so he did not know my circumstances.I bumped into him a few weeks ago and after a short discussion, he invited me to call him. I am finding this hard as I will have to do this through his work place which makes me feel uncomfortable.I am building up a business at the moment and would like to use this to contact him.Do you feel after all this time his feelings may have diminished where I am concerned. I keep thinking "out of sight out of mind". Occasionally I feel cold towards him but due to the fact my own relationship is not good , he has resurfaced in my mind. I tired dropping him a note but note sure if he got it and I now feel a little embarrassed. I just asked if he would like to meet out side of his work place.Any advice welcomed. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your responses to my question. It has left me thinking.I will mail TEM personally and fill you in more.Thanks again for your time.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2011): Hi there. It seems you are doing a lot of thinking and assuming for the both of you when all you really know is your motivations and feelings, not his. I would say if he never made a move and pawned off his number instead of getting yours and calling, you aren't on his mind much. Men will put the ball in your court as a way to get out of something, as opposed to rejecting you directly, so I'd stop looking for the loop holes and take his actions as a major indicator of disinterest. When a man can't resist you, he won't. When a man wants to be with you, he will. It's not a puzzle or a chess game, no matter what your individual circumstances are.
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female
reader, TEM  +, writes (16 April 2011):
 I feel as if there is more to this than what you have written. However, I will go with what you have presented here. You have been thinking about him for a year and you are wondering if those feeling are reciprocated on his part. You are wondering if the invitation he gave you to contact him was more than business based. Is that correct?
You say that you have been thinking about him more than you normally might have because your own relationship is not good. That is does happen. I don’t know if you are married or not, but when things are not good in a marriage, very often people escape through infatuation with others. I think this is where you are.
You would like to use this man as a business contact, however. You say you dropped him a note. Did you email him at his place of work asking him to meet you outside of work? Was this in response to his invitation to contact him?
Bottom line is, you have romantic feelings for this man and you are wondering if he has them for you, or if he just wants a business relationship. Since he did not reply to your email, I would assume that he does not want more than a business relationship. When men want something like that they respond.
I really do need more information. It’s hard to tell what is going on by what you have written here. However, I will say this, if either of you are married, keep it all business. If you try to make it personal you might end up hurting yourself professionally, no matter what either of your true feelings are.
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