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I feel we're drifting further apart over this... help!

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 February 2011) 0 Answers - (Newest, )
A female South Africa age 41-50, *tokozo writes:

hi. I need all kinds of advice on this one.

my bf and I have been together for two years. he owns a company that does gigs and his partner's girlfriend is/was also one of his best buddies of a few years. she is also part of the company although not an official member. Because of the work they do, they have mutual friends and hang out together all the time. I used to get along with her and his other friends but not to the point of being close.

The drama started with an fb status update of mine that got misinterpreted by her and her friends. she told my bf that i've always had an attitude and she was sick of it. I was angry when when my bf told me about this, becoz even though i'd keep to myself around his friends at times, I felt that I didn't owe HER a happy mood. She and i stopped talkin to each other even though we were at the same places at times.

a couple of weeks later at a party, she told me that she was 'bored of this' and I impulsively said, I wasn't. a day later, I discovered she had removed me as her friend. I sent her a msg saying how unfortunate it was that we disagree about something yet we roam the same places and share friends. She responded by calling me a whore, accusing me of being a groupie, that I sneaked my way into their circle. She even added how she's never liked me, that i'm not pretty and even how I don't have family values becoz I don't stay with my parents. She then blocked me from her fb.

I was more shocked than hurt. Although I couldn't reply, I told my boyfriend, since he was the link, he must talk to his friend. he felt that it was btwn us girls, but I told him it was HIS friend that disrespected me, and I have never said anything hurtful to her. Although he told her how he hated the things she said to me, she refused to apologise to me and they continued to hang out outside of work. this made me angry as I couldn't understand how he continues to befriend a girl that has insulted me so much. we fought many times over it and he stated that they're not close anymore but he can't ignore her completely as they work together. Needless to say I stopped hanging out at his store becoz I couldn't stand her and I feel she has poisoned some of her friends about me.

A month ago, after yet another fight about her, I told my boyfriend it's his friend or me. He asked her to apologise again or what's left of their friendship would be over. She refused and sent me a msg about how I wasn't in control of my life and my relationship. I didn't reply at first but later told her where to get off. She continued insulting me and saying all sorts of things about me and my family, which were all lies. I got tired of replying and telling her to get a life and decided to block her from my fb.

My boyfriend and I are still fighting about this. although he says they're not friends anymore, they're still friends on fb but he says it's for business. She sucks up by tagging him on posts and pics she takes of him. This pisses me off coz I think he's entertaining her. Now we fight more coz I dont wanna go to gigs that my bf has organised coz she's part of them. I don't wanna see her face again, she's such negative energy. I just hate the fact that my boyfriend is with her all the time. I really love my bf and he loves me too but I feel that we'll never stop fighting about this and we're drifting further and further apart. What should I do?

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