A
female
age
51-59,
*udiwa
writes:I am recently engaged. My fiance has a daughter 36 and single. Each time she is around he doesnt not even notice or pay attention to me. He asks for her opinion first on everything , including food shopping etc. I am due to get married but I really feel very much shut out.
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female
reader, Brooklyngirl  +, writes (2 January 2010):
 This definitely something you should discuss before the marriage! He may not be aware that he is doing it. Talk to him about it and let him know how you are feeling. That might be all it takes to resolve it!
I wish you luck and hope that I have helped!
~BG~
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): From what I gather you, and his daughter are close in age. My sense is, she is threatened by you and expressed it to him, that might explain why he is being cold to you in her presence. Is he usually nice to you? Kids should come first but she is not a child anymore. I would ask him point blank why he is doing this in her presence. I think he is showing direspect towards you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): Your fiancee is being very uncaring and disrespectful towards you. He seems to have more trust and loyalty to his daughter, more than you. And yet, you are the lady he chose to make his lifelong partner. His daughter, who sounds unusually close to her Dad...needs to step aside.
Personally, I think you are walking into a nightmare. Do you actually and honestly think he will respect and honor you, just because you are married. I think it could get worse, and you will be much more unhappier as time goes on. In your shoes I would discuss this deeply and very seriously with your fiancee. I think it's time for you to set some big boundries on how he is treating you. I think this is very wrong of him and he needs to deal with it before you two marry. Being "in love" lasts a while, but eventually real life intervenes. This daughter will be part of your life for as long as you two are together. He can love her as his daughter-that's ok...but she's an adult and has her own life. His truest committment needs to be soley with you.
Good luck dear and I wish you the best.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 January 2010):
I'm sure you do. But she is his daughter, and that's the way it is. Maybe talk to him about how you feel, suggest that you would like to be included more with decisions and such. But she's his girl, and nothing can break that bond.
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