A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am feeling very down at the moment, i ahve no one to talk to, the children are in bed and i cant stop cryingmy partner told us we were finished yesterday and i thought today he would have text to say he didnt mean it but he never did. my children are not his but they are attached to him and i know they will look for him.we were together three years he wasnt always great i found out he had cheated and told lies, but i thought we were over that, we had a stupid argument where i told him that he showed no concern about us lately, he had just told me that i could tell him whatever it was that was bothering me, and when i did he got all defensive and hung up on me. he text me later to ask am i ok but i never answered it. then he rang and i though we would be able to talk it through but he just said that we were finished and went.is he just angry? or is that it? what shall i do, can someone please help me here.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009):
Generic advice: its bad for you to sit around and mope about this. Get out and doing something- preferably volunteer work for a charity. This can be tough if your children are small but Meals on Wheels always needs help and this is the kind of delivery a child can do. Or maybe the local nursing home needs people to visit the elderly so otherwise wouldnt talk to a person day long. YOu can bring the kids along on that too.
The point it to get out and do things. Dont keep going over these texts and conversations in your mind. Dont go talking with your stupid friends who will give you vapid opinions. If all else fails you probably have tulip bulbs that that probably need to be replanted- get out and do some thing.
When he is ready to talk you can go in with a fresh mind. Not only that has been endlessly obsessing.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): Hey sweetie, you sound pretty sad. But you also sound like you are compromising just to have a man in your life. There are men out there who don't cheat and lie and cause you great sadness. I'm not saying that you will find a perfect relationship and never fight with your man, 'cause that's impossible. You'll bicker from time to time, for sure.This sounds like an argument, not a break up. But seriously, you need to re-examine this relationship to see if you should hang on to it.Give it time.
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A
female
reader, Gigio  +, writes (23 October 2009):
Sweetheart don't you beat yourself up over this. If it was just a stupid argument, then maybe he's just angry at the moment and he will come back in a couple of days. You need to take it easy and take care of yourself. Take a warm bath or shower, make a nice cup of hot chocolate or tea, put clean crispy sheets on your bed, and RELAX!To avoid more anxiety, do not call him or text him. If you do and he doesn't respond your will feel miserable and you will cry more. He will contact you when he comes to his senses.Me too I am waiting for my boyfriend to call me. We had and argument on Sunday about something stupid and he got very angry. It was the eight argument about the same silly thing and it was all my fault, therefore I feel guilty and I am afraid that he won't call. I am keeping my cool nonetheless.I know it is not easy to control your feelings but you need to try. Remenber that song "My favorite things"? "When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad; I simply remenber my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad". Think positive.I will say a prayer for you tonight when I go to bed.Take care.
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